Saying “no” to our children can sometimes become an unfortunate habit in the home. I’m Dr. James Dobson with My Family Talk.

Every child needs to be acquainted with denial of his more extravagant wishes. And there’s a need for parents who have the courage to say no when circumstances warrant. But, this responsibility of holding the line and turning down a child’s petitions can lead us to say “no” when we really ought to say “yes.” And it can be habit forming. “No, you can’t have a cookie.” “No, you can’t go outside.” And “No, you can’t have a friend to spend the night.” We could’ve answered affirmatively in each of those requests, but we denied them almost without thinking. Why? What’s behind the habit of saying “no?” Well, it’s like an umpire who immediately calls a runner “out” or “safe” at home plate. He knows that to waver is to invite an avalanche of protests. Likewise, a parent will sometimes issue an immediate denial to put an end to the matter before the kids get up a head of steam. Also, we say “no” because we don’t have time to think about the consequences. And because the kids ask for a thousand favors a day, and we find it convenient to refuse them all. But, this knee-jerk negativism is irritating for the child and unduly restrictive to him. He deserves the right to a fair hearing based on the merits of each particular request.

Say “yes” to your child unless there is a very good reason for saying “no.” I’m Dr. James Dobson with My Family Talk.

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