What do you think about "date rape" when a girl has given a guy the come-on? If she has flirted with him and gone with him to an apartment or to someplace she shouldn't be, doesn't he have the right to have sex with her?
A guy never has a right to force a woman to have sex with him under any circumstances. She should be able to say no at any point, and he must honor that denial. It is criminal that so many girls and women are raped today. Fully 60 percent of all females who lose their virginity before age fifteen say that their first sexual experience was forced!1 That is a tragedy with far-reaching consequences.
What concerns me is that society has taught young men that they have the right to force themselves on young women. In a study conducted by the Rhode Island Rape Crisis Center, 1,700 students between the sixth and ninth grades were asked if a guy should have a right to force a woman to have sexual intercourse with him under certain circumstances. Sixty-five percent of the boys and 47 percent of the girls said boys do have that right if they have dated a girl for six months or longer! And 51 percent of the boys said a guy has a right to force a girl to kiss him if he spent "a lot of money on her"--defined by twelve-year-olds as ten to fifteen dollars.2
No wonder women find themselves on the defensive so often today. Some men fully expect them to prostitute themselves if they've spent a few bucks on them.
Let me leave you with this thought, written by my father before he died. If you incorporate it into your system of values, it will serve as a worthy guide to the management of your sexual energy:
"Strong desire is like a river. As long as it flows within the banks of God's will-- be the current strong or weak--all is well. But when it overruns those boundaries and seeks its own channels, then disaster lurks in the rampage below."
The Alan Guttmacher Institute 1994 Report: “Sex and America’s Teenagers,” 28.
Adelle Banks, “Some Kids Agree in Survey: Rape OK If Date Costs Money,” Los Angeles Herald Examiner, 8 May 1988, A14.