By Dr. Meg
Question: I have a grandson who will be 5 next month. He likes the story of Cinderella and also Sleeping Beauty. I asked him why he liked these stories and he said that he likes the naughty step sisters in Cinderella and the wicked witch in Snow White.
This is a child raised in a conservative christian home where they don't even have a TV and he does not play video games. Should I be concerned about his fixation on the meanness and not the good?
He goes to church/Awana regularly and knows all his verses so he is aware - I think - of good and bad. Are there any good storybooks to read to him that address this kind of subject?
I am a little concerned and wonder if you could give me your opinion? Your opinion would be appreciated, and thank you in advance for any helpful tools.
I must add, I live in WA. state and my daughter and her family live in CO. So, I only get to see him every few months.
Angela
Answer:
Dear Angela-
Most fairy tales for children involve battles between good and evil and they were written this way for a reason. Children use fantasy as a way of reconciling many inner conflicts and this a good thing. When children hear stories, they learn to understand moral conflict and use their imagination to process some very important issues. Reading fairy tales like Hansel and Gretel can be very frightening for children and this isn’t all bad. In fact, using written stories where the good guy wins helps children recruit their imaginations to solve problems. Watching good people battle bad people in movies or on television is not as helpful because children don’t use their imaginations; rather, they are fed information and often the visual elements are far too violent and inappropriate for their developmental levels.
Think about David and Goliath. In fact, most boys want to hear all about Goliath, not David. Goliath is the intriguing, scary giant who is far more interesting than David. It is entirely normal for boys to be more interested with the “bad” guys than the nice ones because the kids are struggling with how to reconcile evil. I remember teaching Sunday School years ago and whenever I told the class about David and Goliath, none wanted to know about small David- they wanted to know how big Goliath was and how long it took David to lop off his head!
Your grandson is normal. He is learning to understand the tension between good and evil and he will work it out in time. How wonderful that he has parents who don’t let him watch televisions! Kudos to them.
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Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens and children’s health.
Dr. Meg writes with the know-how of a pediatrician and the big heart of a mother because she has spent the last 30 years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine while also helping parents and teens to communicate more deeply about difficult topics such as sex, STDs and teen pregnancy. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her new groundbreaking book, The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers, Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity out from Ballantine Books. She is also the author of the online course, "The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids," part of The Strong Parent Project.
Dr. Meg’s popularity as a speaker on key issues confronting American families has created a strong following on her blogs for Psychology Today. She has also spoken nationally on teen health issues, including personal appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and television programs. Additionally, Dr. Meg lends her voice to regular features in Physician Magazine and Psychologies (UK) and was a contributor to QUESTIONS KIDS ASK ABOUT SEX: Honest Answers for Every Age, The Complete Book of Baby and Child Care (Tyndale House Publishers) and High School Science text, Holt-Rhinehart and Winston, 2004.
Dr. Meg is presently re-certifying with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics as well as the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute, Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Pediatrics and Human Development at Michigan State University; Munson Hospital Family Practice Residency Training Program 1998-present.
Dr. Meeker lives and works in Traverse City, MI where she shares a medical practice with her husband, Walter. They have four grown children.
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