By Dr. Meg Meeker
Dear Dr. Meg: My wife and I made the unfortunate decision of cutting off all contact with our 19-year-old daughter. We found out she has a 44-year-old boyfriend, and has hidden the relationship from us for over two years. We supported her financially for the first two years of college, but we didn't know she was sneaking away on weekends to be with him. There were so many lies told over the past few years that we feel stupid for believing anything she said. Did we make the right decision in cutting her off? How do we stay strong when we love her and miss her? We cannot accept her relationship with her boyfriend, which she has asked us to do.
Dear Dr. Meg: My 7-year-old daughter wanted to play little league softball this spring. We signed her up and off we went. 3 practices in, she decided she did not like it. My question: should we allow her to quit or make her finish out the season? We want her to stay in and finish what she started, but do not want to make her do something she doesn't like. Thank you for this series. It has really great information!
Dear Dr. Meg: Help! I listened to your first two podcasts and they helped me so much. I have 2 boys ages 5 and 3, and a girl that is 15 months. My 3-year-old is a full-on terror. He is very abusive to me; he hits, punches, screams, and kicks. He does this mostly just to me, but enough to his preschool teacher that he was able to qualify for our school district's Special Ed type preschool. But, he has been 'perfect' at the new school, so I am almost certain they will not let him go next year. I have no idea what to do or where to go for help. But in the meantime I'm getting hurt, physically. Any advice?
As I listened to Family Talk today, driving to pick up my only daughter at school, I couldn't believe how perfect this message was for me. I feel that I push my daughter SO much with her schoolwork. I want her to have ALL honors classes; I want her to get straight A's. I feel the need to have her make the dance team. I want her to tutor throughout the summer to excel in Math, like her cousins and friends. I was brought to tears about what you suggested we should do when our child tells us that they are bored!
My husband and I like to think we are doing a pretty good job with our 11-year old daughter. I let her get an Instagram account earlier this year while I was trying to homeschool her to save some money. I thought it would be a neat way for her to still stay in touch with her former classmates. As informed as I think I am, somehow I didn't realize Instagram is social media. I first understood it to be something that only her classmates and dance team members were on, kind of a giant text with shared pictures, and I do monitor who she follows and who follows her, as that's the rule in this home. What I want to ask you is if it is ever too late to somehow turn the clock back?
Dear Dr. Meg: My question for you is about my 6-year-old son. Midway into Kindergarten this year, he started lying. He is amazing, thoughtful, tender, kind-hearted, and he is funny - he thinks making up stories is part of his humor. I tell him all the time not to do it, but at his age it's hard to discipline him when it's confusing to me whether it's make-believe or not. What should I do? --Thank you, Renee (single mother)
Dear Dr. Meg: My eldest daughter is just finishing up 6th grade and has been begging to be home-schooled. We moved to a new school district two years ago and she has been struggling to make friends. She is such a sweet kid; she is truly still a little girl compared to the small group of students at her private school. I'm at a loss as what to do. I don't want to pull her out of school just because things are hard right now, but at the same time, with her preparing to go to middle school, I know how hard the middle school years can be.
Dear Dr. Meg: I have 2 daughters; one is twelve and the other is six. The eldest one is always rude and mean to her little sister. I am constantly telling her how much we love both of them. She has said that since her little sister was born we don't pay attention to her, which is when I remind her of everything I do with her. It breaks my heart to see how mean she is toward her little sister. Her little sister is always screaming because the older screams back. It's a constant “screamathon.” I've told the 12-year old that if she wants to talk to a counselor she can, but she says “What about?” We all pray together and ask God to help us understand each other, but when the little one starts praying the older one gets angry. It's been like this for 3 years or more. Help!
Dear Dr. Meg: My son is an Angel at school, but when he gets home he just screams at his mother and I. He calls us names and never does what we ask of him without a fight. What can we do?
Dear Dr. Meg: My 5-year old received a new kids magazine yesterday. There was a page with an Asian, Caucasian and African American child in separate pictures on the page. He was getting ready to mark out the black child with an X with a magic marker when I asked him what he was doing. My fear was realized when he told me he was going to 'X' her out because he didn't like her; he didn't like her because of her skin! I explained that she's made in the image of God just like him, but I could tell he wasn’t swayed. He has negative initial reactions in public, too. He says thing like " I don't like him" and when pressed, it's only because of their skin color. We live in a 99% white community in Denver, CO. What steps should we be taking to ensure a racist nature doesn't plant deep roots? He's around nobody, that I am aware, who would share these attitudes. They wouldn't tolerate it at his school. Please help.
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Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens and children’s health.
Dr. Meg writes with the know-how of a pediatrician and the big heart of a mother because she has spent the last 30 years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine while also helping parents and teens to communicate more deeply about difficult topics such as sex, STDs and teen pregnancy. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her new groundbreaking book, The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers, Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity out from Ballantine Books. She is also the author of the online course, "The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids," part of The Strong Parent Project.
Dr. Meg’s popularity as a speaker on key issues confronting American families has created a strong following on her blogs for Psychology Today. She has also spoken nationally on teen health issues, including personal appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and television programs. Additionally, Dr. Meg lends her voice to regular features in Physician Magazine and Psychologies (UK) and was a contributor to QUESTIONS KIDS ASK ABOUT SEX: Honest Answers for Every Age, The Complete Book of Baby and Child Care (Tyndale House Publishers) and High School Science text, Holt-Rhinehart and Winston, 2004.
Dr. Meg is presently re-certifying with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics as well as the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute, Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Pediatrics and Human Development at Michigan State University; Munson Hospital Family Practice Residency Training Program 1998-present.
Dr. Meeker lives and works in Traverse City, MI where she shares a medical practice with her husband, Walter. They have four grown children.
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