By Dr. Tim Clinton
4 Things to Stop in Your Marriage:
1) Focusing on Your Own Interests—so many people get married and never move into the “we” dimension of relationship. Being a couple costs your selfishness.
2) Maintaining Unrealistic Expectations—we will always want something to “fix” us. For most, the treatment of choice is for God to take anything away that we don’t want in our lives. Similarly, people choose the treatment of marriage to fix what is going on in their soul. You cannot believe that your spouse will meet all of your needs—no one is capable of doing this for you but God...
Listen to Dr. Clinton interview Tony Perkins on his radio program Life, Love and Family With Dr. Tim Clinton. Hear inspirational real stories of a courageous new generation standing for truth.
4 Steps for Transitioning Boys into Men (Cameron & Molitor, 2012):
• Have a Plan—little ever gets accomplished without a well-devised plan. Think about the qualities you’d like to see in your son as he grows. Write a list of the attributes that you think define successful young men. List the spiritual, emotional, physical, vocational, social, and financial qualities you hope to see in your son. Once you’ve identified these, create a plan to impart these to him.
• Bless Your Son—a blessing is passed on when a respected elder speaks words of encouragement and affirmation to any young person. Children are constantly bombarded with messages—subtle and otherwise—that they just don’t measure up. God will use your words of blessing to neutralize these negative messages and instill hope to your son.
• 4 Steps for Embracing True Manhood:
1. Be Inspired—know the stories of great men. Look for examples, both in history and in those around you, of heroism, nobility, and chivalry. Emulate these great men.
2. Rediscover God’s Idea of Manhood—search the Scriptures. Seek godly advice from other men. Contemplate your role as a man. Avoid the trends in culture that diminish and minimize the importance of true manhood...
• 7 Action Steps for Divorced Parents:
1.Do not put your children in the middle—allow your children to love your ex-spouse both by your words and actions. Encourage their relationship.
2. Admit your mistakes—acknowledge where you’ve messed it up in the past. Learn from this and seek to make changes for the future.
4 Steps for Experiencing Abundant Life in Christ
1. Radical Abandonment—the Jesus we follow is worthy of more than nominal adherence or casual association. Does your life reflect your supreme adoration of the One who saved your soul?
2. Joyful Dependence—you must be totally dependent on His grace. Relationship with Jesus is not about your works. Do you trust in the grace of God? Do you trust that He will enable you to live out the life He’s called you to?
4 Ways to Overcome Addiction:
1.Recognize and admit- you cannot extinguish a problem until you distinguish it. Break through the denial and take ownership.
2.Free up the emotion- what is the unresolved wound that you are seeking to attend to with your addiction? You cannot heal what you do not feel.
6 Steps for Becoming a Better Father:
1. Pray—you can powerfully influence your children by praying with them and for them, particularly praying for their salvation.
2. Be an Encourager—help build your child’s confidence. Children relish the fact that you believe in them. When they do something good, praise them. Cheer them on as they reach for big dreams...
A friend once told about these experiences in a yearly family newsletter: That year, her father died. Two friends died of cancer and she knew of seven others who received a cancer diagnosis. She and her husband were in a head-on car crash. Her husband had kidney stone surgery. Two friends went to prison. Her brother was alcoholic and suicidal, but entered an AA program. Her brother-in-law left his wife and family due to cocaine abuse. To top it all, one day she was having lunch with a friend at a nearby ocean pier when, right in front of them, an elderly man in a wheelchair pitched himself over the rail into the ocean in an attempted suicide. You’re probably thinking, “How could anyone survive all that?” But she is surviving her year-long series of crises—with God’s help.
We exercise trust in virtually every interaction in our lives. We trust cars and airplanes with our lives; we trust banks with our money; we trust the restaurant with our health. We trust others as we share our secrets. We trust a spouse with our marriage. We trust God, even though we cannot see Him. When Trust Is Violated Like a hammer shattering a porcelain vase, a relationship of trust can be shattered by physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
Parents today are grossly confused by lovely-sounding misinformation about how to raise children. An example is the rose theory. It alleges that children are like rosebuds. If no one bothers or interferes with them, they will naturally unfold into gorgeous roses. Sounds lovely! Trouble is, of course, children are not born into the plant kingdom! Children need strong and loving parents.
“I’d die without you.” “You make me whole.” “Without you, I’d be hopelessly lost.” “You define me.” These phrases may sound charming, but this kind of “love” can actually be very destructive. In the name of “love,” it’s easy to put up with all kinds of craziness. To make excuses. To ignore reality.
A crisis is a sudden upsetting event—sometimes foreseen, often not—that strikes people in a vulnerable place at a bad time. Crises are life-changing, in part, because decisions must be made that nearly always alter the course of life.
We all carry relational wounds. So we go through life with a skewed definition of love. Our actions are often a far cry from true love. The truth is, we may be trying to “love” the other in an attempt to satisfy our “need” for the other.
“Great beginnings are not as important as the way one finishes.”
These words of New York Times best-selling author, child psychologist and parenting expert, Dr. James Dobson, continue to challenge and inspire me—as a counseling professional, and as a father and husband. This past year, I had the joy (and agony!) of walking my daughter Megan down the aisle to marry a wonderful, godly man, as well as standing with my high school senior, Zach, when he signed on to play college baseball in an NCAA Division I program.
Life is all about relationships—particularly with God and with those we love. You don’t have to go very far in the Bible to be reminded that God desires to be in a relationship with each and every one of us. Even more, the Bible says that He is a pursuer God, and that He works to win our hearts. His desire and His love are for us.
By By Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Joshua Straub
A few weeks ago, Christopher Hitchens was interviewed on CNN. A renowned atheist who has recently been diagnosed with cancer, Hitchens told Anderson Cooper, “If you hear that I came to God on my death bed, don’t believe it.”
How do you know if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy? The choices you make can offer an enlightening perspective, a clue to your personal relationship dynamics. The following self-test may help you to see the picture more clearly. For each statement below, indicate your agreement or disagreement.
In the last decade, new brain imaging technology has shed an innovative light on the relationship between the mind and the brain. With the latest research and advancements in brain imaging, many neuroscientists now believe that the mind can literally change the brain.
God. Whether one loves him, hates him, denies or defies him, it’s hard to refute the worldwide fascination with God.
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Kids Need Barriers
Are You Too Busy to Pray?
Religion Without Relationship
Can You See God in Your Pain?
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Connect With Dr. Tim Clinton
Connect with Dr. Tim Clinton at AACC
Tim Clinton, Ed. D., LPC, LMFT (The College of William and Mary) is President of the nearly 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), the largest and most diverse Christian counseling association in the world. He is Professor of Counseling and Pastoral Care, and Executive Director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University. Licensed in Virginia as both a Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist, Tim now spends a majority of his time working with Christian leaders and professional athletes. He is recognized as a world leader in faith and mental health issues and has authored over 20 books including Breakthrough: When to Give In, When to Push Back. Most importantly, Tim has been married 36 years to his wife Julie and together they have two children, Megan, who recently married Ben Allison and is practicing medicine in dermatology, and Zach, who plays baseball at Liberty University. In his free time, you’ll find him outdoors or at a game with family and friends.
Dr. Tim Clinton
Dr. Eric Scalise
Dr. Joshua Straub
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