By Julie Clinton
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
In Men are Like Waffles—Women are Like Spaghetti, Bill and Pam Farrell describe the mind of men and women.
By Dr. James Dobsn
One of the primary reasons for communication troubles in marriage is a fundamental difference between males and females. Research makes it clear that most little girls are blessed with greater linguistic ability than most little boys, and it remains a lifelong talent. Simply stated, she talks more than he does. As an adult, she typically expresses her feelings and thoughts far better than her husband and is often irritated by his reticence. God may have given her 50,000 words per day, and her husband only 25,000.
By Dr. Tim Clinton
What do you think of when you read the following quote?
“A ship in the harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for.”
-John A. Shedd
Perhaps it makes you think of a ship actually in a harbor. A fishing boat covered in barnacles, tied to the dock, floating and bouncing around on the water. Or maybe you think of the scene from Titanic where there is a great pan shop of the majestic vessel covered with people waving goodbye to
As a 22-year-old soldier, Bill Wilson accepted his first drink. When he welcomed alcohol into his life that day, he didn’t think about his deadbeat alcoholic father or his carefree mother, who both left him in Vermont when he was just 10 years old. His father went to Canada and his mother to Boston. The predisposition to alcoholism went unrecognized.
By Dr. James Dobson
Laughter is the key to survival during the special stresses of the child-rearing years. If you can see the delightful side of your assignment, you can also deal with the difficult. Almost every day I hear from mothers who would agree. They use the ballast of humor to keep their boats in an upright position. They also share wonderful stories with me.
By Dr. Dobson
Question: Give me some practical suggestions for the selection of a husband. I sure want to get it right and don't think I should depend just on looks or personality. What are the factors I should consider before saying "I do"?
In a progressive culture, it’s easy to forget the biblical roles that God has clearly defined for men and women. Learn why it’s so important to embrace those roles as God’s grand design - especially the role of wife and mother. It’s a lesson of encouragement for this “divine assignment”.
Dr. Dobson and guests Robert and Bobbie Wolgemuth tee up a light-hearted yet insightful "baseball" analogy about sex--from a woman's perspective.
I've always thought a man should be willing to work and sacrifice to reach his goals. Now you're saying to cool the passion and postpone the dream. That isn't the way I was taught.
To be honest, many of you husbands and fathers have been thinking about something else. Your wives have been busy attending seminars and reading family literature and studying the Bible, but they can't even get you to enter a discussion about what they've learned. You've been intoxicated with your work and the ego support it provides.
Love can be defined in myriad ways, but in marriage “I love you” really means “I promise to be there for you all of my days.” It is a promise that says, “I’ll be there when you lose your job, your health, your parents, your looks, your confidence, your friends.” It’s a promise that tells your partner, “I’ll build you up; I’ll overlook your weaknesses; I’ll forgive your mistakes; I’ll put your needs above my own; I’ll stick by you even when the going gets tough.”
Pain and adversity can easily strip us of energy and heart. All three of these women have been challenged by difficult circumstances, and all three made courageous decisions to stand by their men. They know two important things about their relationships and adversity—who they are and where they’re going.
Whether a few days, weeks, or months after the wedding, something begins to happen to “that lovin’ feeling.” A man and woman just seem to lose the wind in their romantic sails. It does not always occur, but too often it does.
I will never forget the first Valentine’s Day of my marriage, six months after Shirley and I walked down the aisle. It was something of a disaster. I had gone to the USC library that morning and spent eight or ten hours poring over dusty books and journals. It had slipped my mind completely that it was February 14.
Years ago, a Christian group on a college campus advertised a seminar titled: “Givers, Takers, and Other Kinds of Lovers.” We use the word “love” to mean almost any kind of connection today, but this leads to lots of misunderstanding. Needing someone isn’t loving them, and controlling them by any form of manipulation isn’t in their best interests. Real love is a choice, it’s open and freeing, demanding nothing in return. In Romans 12, Paul dives into what it means to live out love in our daily relationships.
One key to building trust is to take great care not to hurt or embarrass those we love. Some information is private and should remain so. For one partner to reveal family secrets indiscriminately or to verbalize barely concealed put-downs breaks the couple’s bond of loyalty and violates trust.
This is what I mean by mutual accountability. Such minor conflict in a marriage plays a positive role in establishing what is and is not acceptable behavior. Some instances of disrespect are petty, like the two examples I gave, but when they are permitted to pass unnoticed, two things happen.
We turn our attention now to the relationship between husbands and wives, which reminds me of a telephone call I received recently from a man who had read my previous book The Strong Willed Child. It did not answer his questions. Furthermore, he said he had read my earlier book What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, and it didn't satisfy his needs, either.
My wife and I love each other very much, but we're going through a time of apathy. We just don't feel close to each other. Is this normal, and is there a way to bring back the fire?
This happens sooner or later in every marriage. A man and woman just seem to lose the wind in their romantic sails for a period of time.
My wife and I sometimes get into fights when neither of us really wants to argue. I'm not even sure how it happens. We just find ourselves locking horns and then feeling bad about it later. Why can't we get along even when we want to?
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Connect With Dr. James Dobson
Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.
Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. He has been active in governmental affairs and has advised three U.S. presidents on family matters. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development. He holds 17 honorary doctoral degrees, and was inducted in 2008 into The National Radio Hall of Fame. Dr. Dobson recently received the “Great American Award” from The Awakening.
Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren. The Dobsons reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
How to Raise a Brat
A Message To Husbands and Wives
From Mourning to Morning
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