By Dr. Tim Clinton
Listen to Dr. Clinton interview Francis and Lisa Chan on his radio program Life, Love and Family With Dr. Tim Clinton.
By Dr. Eric Scalise
Young, in love, full of life with dreams to match, newly married, and me being Italian—as a couple that meant children, lots of them—six or seven would be a nice start. Our trust in God was important to our relationship and in all we did. We could quote nearly every “growing a family” Scripture in our sleep.
By Dr. James Dobson
The world seems to worship youth and is terrified of aging. But there was a time when getting older was associated with wisdom and experience. In fact, some of the greatest accomplishments in history came very late in life.
If I were to draw a caricature of an adult experiencing a lifelong crisis of confidence, I would depict a bowed, weary traveler. Over his shoulder, I would place the end of a mile‐long chain attached to tons of garbage. Inscribed on each piece of junk would be the details of some humiliation—a failure, a rejection, an embarrassment from the past. The traveler could let go of the chain, but he is convinced that he must drag that heavy load throughout life.
Let me offer a word of advice. It is illustrated by an account of a battle described in the book of Joshua that occurred more than three thousand years ago. Joshua led a portion of his troops in a frontal assault of the Canaanite city of Ai. The Ai defenders came out in force to meet the Israelites, but they had been lured into a trap. The remainder of Israel’s forces slipped in behind the enemy army and attacked the now-defenseless city. Ai’s warriors looked back in shock and disbelief as they saw smoke rising from their burning homes.
By Shirley Dobson
When Jim and I were dating, I was pleased to discover his creative, romantic side. Little things he did, such as sending me a love note hidden in a Coke bottle, made me feel special. I treasured those romantic moments from our early days together.
“I’d die without you.” “You make me whole.” “Without you, I’d be hopelessly lost.” “You define me.” These phrases may sound charming, but this kind of “love” can actually be very destructive. In the name of “love,” it’s easy to put up with all kinds of craziness. To make excuses. To ignore reality.
Isn’t it curious how in the midst of a nasty family argument we can shake out of the bad mood the instant the telephone rings or a neighbor knocks on the door?
4 Steps for Making Good Habits and Breaking Bad Ones:
1. Develop Good Habits—focus on the good thing that you want to do. As you develop this good habit, there simply won’t be any room for the bad one. The Bible says to overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:21).
2. Focus on the Gains—rather than focusing on what you are losing, adjust your attention to the positive aspects of change. For example, don’t focus on losing weight. Rather, focus on being healthy to glorify God...
5 Steps to Heal Your Wounded Heart:
1) Pray—seek daily time before God in prayer, reading the Scriptures, and asking God for the ability to overcome the betrayal you feel. You must surrender control to Him in order to begin moving forward with your life.
2) Seek Help—whether or not you choose to continue in this marriage, seeking counseling may be the first step in moving forward. Find a professional who you can talk with, getting the issues out in the open, and dealing with the pain you feel...
The key word here is memorable. Look for opportunities to get out of the rut and routine for a couple of hours or a couple of days. A fresh setting and uncustomary activities can lift your time together out of the mundane and weave it into the stuff of memory.
Homosexual activists know that most Christians are uncomfortable in today’s highly charged political arena. We are, for the most part, peace-loving people who do not like angry confrontation and bitter debate. Our philosophical opponents understand this, which explains why they often react with in-your-face rhetoric and behavior. Their purpose is to intimidate those who oppose their agenda.
Because of the critical nature of this discussion, we are going to turn to an expert for advice. Following is an edited version of an interview I conducted with Larry Burkett on a radio broadcast. Larry has devoted his life to helping families live within their means. I believe the advice that follows will be especially helpful to young couples who are establishing lifelong spending habits. Now is the time to lay hold of these fundamental principles.
When I was a teenager I had a recurring dream which invariably delighted me: the episode would always begin by my noticing a shiny dime near the sidewalk where I walked. As I reached down to retrieve it, two quarters would be uncovered in the soil. By grabbing those two coins, at least four half-dollars would appear underneath, and it was obvious that I had stumbled onto a numismatic fortune. I would begin shoveling money by the handfuls, while looking over my shoulder. Always standing or walking nearby were dozens of people who hadn't noticed my discovery, and I was anxiously trying to stuff the cash in my pockets before being mobbed by competitors. There were slight variations to this theme (once I found millions of S&H Green Stamps,) but a distinct element of greed was always represented. Now, many years later, I'm happy to say that I've recovered from this greedy nature; instead, I frequently dream that I'm standing immobilized while everyone else finds the money! That's what decades of taxes and creditors have done to my adolescent aspirations.
I would like to offer some evidence to show that men and women are biologically unique. The women's movement, in its assault on traditional sex roles, has repeatedly asserted that males and females are identical except for the ability to bear children. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
4 Things to Stop in Your Marriage:
1) Focusing on Your Own Interests—so many people get married and never move into the “we” dimension of relationship. Being a couple costs your selfishness.
2) Maintaining Unrealistic Expectations—we will always want something to “fix” us. For most, the treatment of choice is for God to take anything away that we don’t want in our lives. Similarly, people choose the treatment of marriage to fix what is going on in their soul. You cannot believe that your spouse will meet all of your needs—no one is capable of doing this for you but God...
Many years ago I saw a documentary television program that I never forgot. It focused on the life of an elderly woman named Elizabeth Holt Hartford, who lived alone in a Los Angeles slum. These were her parting words that were aired on videotape a few weeks after her death:
I will not soon forget a television program aired in Los Angeles which was devoted to the topic of aging. It was one of those unusual documentaries which burns its way into the viewer's memory forever. The subject for the half-hour program was an eighty-eight-year-old woman named Elizabeth Holt Hartford. She lived in a tiny room of a decrepit hotel in the slum section of Los Angeles. The film crew for the station selected Miss Hartford to dramatize the plight of the poverty-stricken, sick old people who populate the central part of the city. Though she was wrinkled and bowed by time, Miss Hartford was remarkably lucid and eloquent. Her message still rings in my ears, and it sounded like this: "You see me as an ancient old woman, but I want to tell you something. This is me inside here. I haven't changed; I'm just stuck within this body and I can't get out. It hurts me and it won't move right and it gets tired whenever I try to do anything. But the real me is not what you see. I am a prisoner within this decaying body".
If I had one evening I could spend with any person, no one in the world would outrank my wife. We have grown in mutual understanding so that it is rarely necessary to quarrel and argue. Nevertheless, Shirley and I once had a dandy fight and three distinct concepts emerged which may assist you in your marriage.
• 7 Action Steps for Divorced Parents:
1.Do not put your children in the middle—allow your children to love your ex-spouse both by your words and actions. Encourage their relationship.
2. Admit your mistakes—acknowledge where you’ve messed it up in the past. Learn from this and seek to make changes for the future.
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Connect With Dr. James Dobson
Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.
Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. He has been active in governmental affairs and has advised three U.S. presidents on family matters. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development. He holds 17 honorary doctoral degrees, and was inducted in 2008 into The National Radio Hall of Fame. Dr. Dobson recently received the “Great American Award” from The Awakening.
Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren. The Dobsons reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Angry Women and Passive Men
5 Rules that Ruin Families
How To Change Your Man
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