By JT Waresak
I was recently reminded that it's not our yelling that makes our kids listen to us. Rather, it's the action that follows our yelling that compels our little ones to take notice. Yet, most of us, from time to time, catch ourselves yelling at our kids. Why?
From the onset of birth, the body of each sex is systematically developed toward its final destination of gender uniqueness. As a parent, to not acknowledge the blatant biological and physiological differences between the sexes can set up our children toward a life of confusion and frustration. We must teach our sons and daughters differently, because they are different.
While there are countless scenarios why our wives may lose hope and want to give up from time to time, here are three that I’ve seen personally on a regular basis in my own marriage and the married couples I know.
We all have big plans and want to be successful for our families. However, things happen and life doesn’t always turn out the way we thought it would. For many men, it’s times like these that too often define our identity, and the passion we once had for our families begins to fade. Yet it doesn’t need to be this way, and for most men, they don’t want to see this happen.
For some Christians, they see this issue as a distraction that takes away from the gospel message of Jesus Christ. I know of some pastors and churches that won't even mention the topic. As a follower of Jesus and father of five children, I view the sanctity of life as an integral part of living out the gospel message of Christ.
If you peruse the countless mail, T.V. and internet ads, it’s easy to see the larger emphasis of Christmas is all about one thing–spending money on the newest and greatest gifts. This is by far the most significant message our children will receive as they consume their media and entertainment this Christmas season. For many of our children, Christmas equates to an attitude of “what’s in it for me?”
In this same study, it revealed that Christians, on average, tend to watch more TV than non-Christians. Not only are Christians consuming much of the same entertainment via the TV, they’re taking in more of it on a regular basis. Do we really wonder what’s shaping our lives and the next generation?
As husbands and fathers, we need to go to battle for our wives and daughters by living on the front line with them and help them redefine beauty. With great intentionality, we need to daily communicate a much larger vision of what beauty really means.
Given none of us walk on water, we'll never get it all right. Even the best hitters in the majors only get it right 3 out of 10 times, which means they make "mistakes" 70% of the time they step up to the plate. Arguably the greatest basketball player ever, Michael Jordan, only made 50% of the shots he took. While it's okay to pursue perfection around what we do, we must live within the reality that we'll never be perfect (by the way, that's why we need Jesus). Mistakes and failures will always be a part of our lives. What's important is how we respond to them.
So what does “success” mean to the Christian parent? For me, it’s to raise my kids in a manner that cultivates their hearts for God. The Apostle Paul told the early church to imitate him as he imitates Christ. I believe every parent is called to the same mission. Much of this pursuit comes down to a modeling effect.
As a Christian dad, it’s my calling to raise my children in a manner that is consistent with divine and empirical truth. Anything less and I’m compromising one of my greatest objectives in life–to raise my sons and daughters to be godly men and women. Here are 3 truths that I’ve done my best to live by and instill into the hearts and minds of my children.
If you live in mainstream media and consume the male-bashing commercials and shows, you’d believe that most women “wear the pants” and the majority of guys are more than willing to let them do it. While I agree our men need to collectively step up their pant-wearing efforts, I also believe that most men want to wear the pants and the majority of women out there want them to as well.
As a father, what kind of message do your children see you live out on a daily basis? Your words may say one thing, and your actions may say something else. Find out what you are teaching your children and may not even know it.
There is a simple truth when it comes to doing something consistently well: Make sure you’re taking care of the basics. Being a good dad is no different. Regardless of our past efforts, there are some fundamentals that we can all pursue to help us be better fathers.
Regardless of how long you've been married or the age(s) of your children, God's has positioned you to be a leader for your family. Every day you live, you have a chance to be used by God to impact your wife and children. It's time to suit up and get the job done where it matters most–in our own homes.
To think that God affords us this role as parents is truly an amazing thing. To hold your child's heart means that your child is trusting you to guard and nourish their hearts as God grows them into the young man or woman He wants them to be. Yet, how prepared am I as a dad to have my child's heart?
Wives, don’t let your husbands kid you. Even if a man doesn’t deserve respect or act like he wants it from his wife, it is something he desperately desires. Every man wants to be his wife’s knight in shining armor and needs to know that you value him as a man.
There are a number of things our wives consistently need from us as husbands to make a great and lasting marriage. You would think that after 25 years of marriage I would have these principles embedded within my brain and heart. I don’t know if it’s a me-thing or a guy-thing, but I still need to be reminded to refocus on these things on a regular basis. Here’s my current top seven:
As fathers, we must vow now to put an end to this and raise our boys to become men when they hit their late teen years. If they can father a child and fight for our country, they better be men and not merely boys. We need to show them what real manhood is all about, and we must pursue it with great focus, intensity and passion.
You will likely never hear of this leadership lesson in most schools or textbooks these days. However, it is very likely the most powerful instruction on leadership the world has ever known...
10 Ways To Help Reduce Conflict in Your Marriage
Kids Need Barriers
Are You Too Busy to Pray?
Religion Without Relationship
Can You See God in Your Pain?
Use Chrome? Here's the RSS extension
The Line of Respect in Your Marriage
5 Everyday Ways to Build Intimacy with...
How Much Can You Be Trusted?
Opinions presented in blog content on www.drjamesdobson.org are solely those of the author. Blog content may only be reprinted or republished with the express written permission of the author and Family Talk.
All information presented on blog(s) is for entertainment purposes only. Neither the author nor Family Talk is providing medical, legal or other professional advice. You are reading and/or using blog content at your own risk. Inquiries may be sent to: email@example.com.
The Dobson Library
Copyright ©2017 Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk All Rights Reserved
Family Talk 540 Elkton Drive, Suite 201 Colorado Springs, CO 80907 (877) 732-6825
Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited.