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Admit It When You’re Wrong

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins. 
1 John 1:9 

It is very difficult for parents to ask their children for forgiveness. They feel that it somehow damages their authority to admit they have done wrong and promise to do better next time. But I believe it is healthy for a mom and dad to model for a child how to apologize when they have done something wrong.

One evening years ago, I was especially grouchy with my ten-year-old daughter, Danae. I blamed her for things that weren’t her fault and upset her needlessly. After I went to bed, I realized that I needed to apologize. The next morning I said, “Danae, I’m sure you know that daddies are not perfect human beings. I know I wasn’t fair with you last night. I was terribly grouchy, and I’m asking you to forgive me.” Danae put her arms around me, then shocked me to my toes when she said, “I knew you were going to have to apologize, Daddy, and it’s okay. I forgive you!”

If parents never admit their wrongs, their children often remember the offenses well into adulthood. Instead of clearing the air and re-establishing the relationship, the hurt feelings are stored in the memory bank to fester. Furthermore, by admitting a wrong, the parent says on the record that things will change—that he or she will try not to make the same mistake in the future. Healthy families follow these principles of forgiveness . . . from the top down!

From Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s book Night Light for Couples.

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson is the Founder Chairman of the James Dobson Family Institute, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He has an earned Ph.D. from the University of Southern California and holds 18 honorary doctoral degrees. He is the author of more than 70 books dedicated to the preservation of the family.

Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years in the divisions of Child Development and Medical Genetics.

He has advised five U.S. presidents and served on eight national commissions.

Dr. Dobson has been married to Shirley for 64 years, and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren.

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