What is the process by which a happy, cooperative, twelve-year-old boy or girl suddenly turns into a sullen, depressed thirteen-year-old?
It happens in almost every family.
There are two powerful forces that account for some of the adolescent behavior that drives parents crazy. The first is linked to the peer pressures that are common at that time. Much has been written about those influences. But there is a second, and I think more important, source of disruption of those years. It is related to the hormonal changes that not only transform the physical body, which we can see, but also revolutionize how kids think. For some (but not all) adolescents, human chemistry is in a state of imbalance for a few years, causing agitation, violent outbursts, depression, and flightiness. This upheaval can motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults who are watching anxiously on the sidelines. The hormonal firestorm operates much like pre-menstrual tension or menopause in women, destabilizing the self-concept and creating a sense of foreboding.
Parents often despair during the irrationality of this period. Everything they’ve tried to teach their sons and daughters seems to have misfired for a couple of years. Self-discipline, cleanliness, respect for authority, and common courtesy may give way to risk taking and all-around goofiness. If that’s where your child is today, I have good news for you. Better days are coming. That wacko kid will soon become a tower of strength and good judgment—if he doesn’t do something destructive before his hormones settle down once more.
From the book Dr. Dobson’s Handbook of Family Advice. Request your copy today, HERE.