By Dr. James Dobson
During my freshman year I entered the mile run in a field of about twenty men. I was in good shape and finished second to an outstanding senior who rarely lost. He graduated that year and left the vacancy to me. Unfortunately, I discovered girls in my sophomore year and I let myself get a little soft. I had no idea that my body was going to play dead on that day of the race. I walked onto the track full of expectancy and determination.
In our secular age the battle rages not only over the question of religion in our public life. The very concept of faith is under attack. Cynicism and unbelief mock faith and the sacrifices it brings forth. Yet no nation can long survive if it does not have among its people a deep reservoir of faith in all its forms. This is especially true for democracies where the will of the people prevails.
The best way of keeping a marriage healthy is to maintain a system of mutual accountability, with the context of love. Speaking personally, the secret of my beautiful relationship with Shirley has involved a careful protection of the "line of respect" between us. This is a difficult concept to convey and its function is different from one personality to another. Perhaps by explaining how it operates between Shirley and me, I can help the reader adapt the principle to his own circumstances.
Some years ago, in an effort to draw on the experiences of those who have lived together harmoniously as husbands and wives, we asked married couples to participate in an informal study. More than six hundred people agreed to speak candidly about the concepts and methods that have succeeded in their homes for thirty, forty, or even fifty years.
There is a place in the female soul reserved for Daddy, or a daddy figure, that will always yearn for affirmation. Not every girl or woman is the same, of course, but almost every girl desires a close bond with this most significant man in her life. She will adore him if he loves and protects her and if she finds safety and warmth in his arms.
When I was seventeen years old, the state of Texas granted me a license to drive. It was a bad decision. My dad had recently bought a brand-new Ford, and he let me take it out for a spin during lunchtime one day. That was another big mistake. Hundreds of my fellow students were milling around my school as I drove by, which gave me a great opportunity to show off.
My wife and I made a trip to the supermarket to pick up a few items. When we arrived, we noticed that a woman shopper and her five-year-old boy were engaged in a clash of wills. He demanded that she buy something and then threw a classic temper tantrum when she refused. The conflict was still brewing when they reached the checkout counter where we were standing in line. Unmindful of my listening ear, Mama leaned down and spoke very quietly to her son.
The Greek translation for the word encouragement is parakletos, which literally means "called alongside to help." It brings to mind the scriptural image of two people yoked side by side, as when Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:29–30).
Many couples have struggled with that issue since the arrival of their children. Some families feel they don't have a choice, given their compelling financial pressures. I understand their dilemma. But for those who do have options, there is little doubt about what is in the best interest of their children, as I see it...
The art of communication doesn't come naturally to most of us. Some folks just don't like to talk much. Others talk incessantly without ever really saying anything. But when it comes to marriage, communication is one of the keys to intimacy.
I hope you will read very carefully what I am about to write now, because it explains why this matter is so significant. Porn and smut pose an awesome threat to your boys. A single exposure to it by some thirteen to fifteen-year-olds is all that is required to create an addiction that will hold them in bondage for a lifetime. It is more addictive than cocaine or heroine. That was one of the conclusions drawn during the...
As if parents don't have enough to worry about, they're also faced with a cyber and media world that is enormously dangerous to their children. Are you aware that the average person between the ages of eight and eighteen spends approximately 44.5 hours each week engaging with some form of media? That's the equivalent of a full-time job and several hours of overtime! With consumption at this level, it's little wonder that media has become a type of "super-peer," influencing behaviors and shaping values.
Another key factor is the prevalence of violence in the media, which has taught kids the wrong way to deal with tormentors. Teens, including those with wounded spirits, live every day with images of killing, poisoning, maiming, decapitating, knifing, crashing, and exploding. It is everywhere, from the theater to cable television to music videos and the Internet. One of the most popular movies a few years ago was Scream, produced by Miramax—a subsidiary owned, it is sad to say, by the Disney Corporation. The film opened with...
Culturally, men have difficulty sharing their feelings and showing affection and love. But it is never too late to start sharing with your children and praying for them.
Dr. Frank Minirth and Dr. Paul Warren describe how prayer taps into the power of the Holy Spirit and models for children that there is a heavenly Father we can all rely on in times of fear.
Some would question whether it is even desirable for a girl to be feminine in a traditional sense, fearing that it will signal a return to the oppression of a patriarchal era when women had to hide their intelligence and conceal their accomplishments. Hear me out, moms. Not for a moment would I try to take away the hard-won achievements of respect and emancipation enjoyed by today's women. Those cultural advances are here to stay, and may they long endure.
Dr. Dobson's guest Fern Nichols brings home the vital importance of parents praying without ceasing for their children. She introduces her ministry called "Moms in Prayer."
It's a well-known fact that kids identify their parents—and especially their fathers—with God. One day when I was out of town on business, Shirley asked our son, Ryan, then two years old, to pray before their meal.
Joe White encourages parents to pour scripture into their children, praying them into eternity. He and Dr. Dobson concur that this is the most significant task for a parent.
A few years ago I slipped into a market to buy a few groceries for lunch. Standing in front of me at the checkout was an elderly woman who didn't seem to be altogether lucid. It quickly became obvious that she had selected more food than she could pay for, as she fumbled in her purse frantically for a few more coins. The checker politely continued to add up the items.
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Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.
Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. He has been active in governmental affairs and has advised three U.S. presidents on family matters. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development. He holds 17 honorary doctoral degrees, and was inducted in 2008 into The National Radio Hall of Fame. Dr. Dobson recently received the “Great American Award” from The Awakening.
Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren. The Dobsons reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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