Why Moms Need Other Moms

Dr. James Dobson

Question: Dr. Dobson, my husband and I just moved to Arizona from Pennsylvania, and I haven't established a network of friends yet. My family is back east, and I have no one but my husband to talk to about problems the kids are having. He is very busy, so all the "homework" is left to me. How can I deal with the feelings of loneliness and isolation as a mother?

Answer: It is vital that you build relationships with other women that can help satisfy the needs for friendship and emotional support. Failure to do that places too great a strain on the marital relationship, which can lead to serious interpersonal problems. I'm not saying that your husband has no responsibility to help you get through this period of loneliness, but unless he is a very unusual man, he will not be able to "carry" you emotionally while earning a living and handling the other responsibilities of living.

Therefore, I recommend that you seek out women's groups that are designed to meet the needs you described. Many churches offer Bible study groups and classes called Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS), which is an outstanding program that puts women in touch with one another.

Other possibilities are out there which bond moms together in a common cause. What I'm saying is that you are not alone, even in a new city.

There are other women out there who need you as much as you need them. You can find each other with a little effort. It is dangerous under the circumstances you described to sit and wait for the world to come to your front door.

From Dr. Dobson's book Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide.

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