Voices of the Family | Family Talk

Explaining Sex To Kids

Written by Dr. James Dobson | October 31, 2017


The Lord gave us the holy gift of physical intimacy as a means of expressing love between husband and wife. We are told that when a man and wife unite in marriage, they become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Solomon's Song of Songs clearly celebrates sexual pleasure between married lovers. 


In today's immoral culture, however, that purpose has been twisted. Sexual "freedom" is preached with evangelistic fervor. A motel marquee suggests to its patrons, "Have your next affair with us." Premarital virginity and marital fidelity are portrayed as outdated concepts. In this warped atmosphere, how can parents instill healthy attitudes toward the gift of sexual intimacy?

You can start by taking a leadership role. Gradually introduce your kids to God's plan for sex, beginning at age three or four and ending shortly before puberty. Let your kids' questions be a guide to how much you should reveal. And if they don't ask, don't wait for someone else to fill in the blanks. When our son, Ryan, showed no interest in the subject of sex, I finally took him on a fishing trip and suggested we discuss "how babies are made and all that." Ryan said, "What if I don't wanna know?" I dragged him kicking and screaming into the world of adult sexuality.

We are told to "Train a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6). That means we are to teach our children about all of God's gifts and truths—including His wonderful gift of sex—when the timing is right.

How much do your children know about sex? What are you doing to counteract immoral sexual messages?