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How to Stay Faithful to Your Spouse


Question: Dr. Dobson, you’ve been happily married for more than fifty years now. Have you ever been tempted to be unfaithful to your wife? What are the danger points that those of us who are younger should watch for?

Dr. Dobson: Honestly, I have never even considered cheating on Shirley. The very thought of hurting her and inviting God’s judgment is more than enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. Furthermore, I would never destroy the specialness we shared for all these years. But even marriages that are based on that kind of commitment are not immune to Satan’s attacks.

He laid a trap for me during a time of particular vulnerability. Shirley and I had been married just a few years when we had a minor fuss. It was no big deal, but we both were pretty agitated at the time. I got in the car and drove around for about an hour to cool off. Then when I was on the way home, a very attractive girl drove up beside me in her car and smiled. She was obviously flirting with me. Then she slowed down, looked back, and turned onto a side street. I knew she was inviting me to follow her.

I didn’t take the bait. I just went on home and made up with Shirley. But I thought later about how vicious Satan had been to take advantage of the momentary conflict between us. The Scriptures refer to the devil as “a roaring lion” seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8, KJV). I could see how true that description really is. He knew his best opportunity to damage our marriage was during that hour or two when we were irritated with each other. That is typical of his strategy. He’ll lay a trap for you, too, and it’ll probably come at a time of vulnerability. Beautiful, enticing, forbidden fruit will be offered to you when your hunger is greatest. If you are foolish enough to reach for it, your fingers will sink into the rotten mush on the back side. That’s the way sin operates in our lives. It promises everything. It delivers nothing but disgust and heartache.

From Dr. Dobson’s book Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide.


Related Resources

Building Hedges Around Your Marriage

Guarding Your Marriage Against Infidelity

The Impact of Adultery

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson was the Founder Chairman of the James Dobson Family Institute, a nonprofit organization that produced his radio program, Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California and held 18 honorary doctoral degrees. He also was the author of more than 70 books dedicated to the preservation of the family.

Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years, and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years in the divisions of child development and medical genetics.

He advised five U.S. presidents and served on eight national commissions.

Dr. Dobson was married to Shirley for just shy of 65 years, and he was the beloved father of two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren.

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