Question: Dr. Dobson, are adopted children more likely to be rebellious than children raised by biological parents? If so, are there any steps I can take to prevent or ease the conflict? My husband
The inherent issue is not the ever-changing cultural norms of our day. The biggest problem is not the mainline media or the profoundly invasive digital age that now consumes our children. While these contributing influences are, indeed, concerning contributors beyond measure, they are merely symptoms of a far greater dilemma and have been present for generations.
The larger problem is that, as parents, we have not focused more on the God-implanted potential that is within our children. Here is the simple truth that we need to pour into each of our kids:
Our children were created by God to change the culture and not vice versa—to be in the world and not of it, to be transformers and not conformers.
I'm reminded of the children's Sunday school song, "This Little Light of Mine". While I like the idea of this song, it's an enormous understatement if we don't teach them what their light really represents. With Jesus, it's not a little light that lives within us. It is God Himself—an all-consuming fire that never goes out. It is more like a raging eternal inferno that can overtake any form of darkness that this world puts in front of us. At least, that's the potential God gives each one of us—in and through His Son, Jesus Christ. Our children were created by God to light up this world and not to blend into its darkness. They need to know this.
This doesn't mean we don't protect and shield our children from the evil of the world around us. Our kids, in fact, are "little lights," and we must spiritually nurture them and keep them from harm during their maturing years. God has positioned us for this purpose—to steward their hearts and minds for Him. It is a two-fold calling of every dad and mom—to protect while at the same time building up as we take on a dual role of sentinel and teacher. While the roles change over time, the goal never changes. We are called to be there for our children when needed and to continually point them to the Lord and His ways.
Sadly, America has become a morally and spiritually darker place for our kids. Yet the darkness of this age doesn't need to define our children. In Christ Jesus, God has made them for so much more. Our kids need to grasp this at an early age and see it lived out within our own lives. This means the world doesn't determine who we are or how we live. Our relationship with God does. In Christ Jesus, our children can be used by God to change the culture and this world and not become victims of it.
Do your children know this? Do you?