By Dr. James Dobson
Question: Dr. Dobson, are you suggesting that women should seek to meet some of their emotional needs outside of marriage?
Question: Dr. Dobson, my wife will not respond to me sexually unless the circumstances are just right. It isn't enough for us to just enjoy each other physically. I have to talk to her and spend time with her before we even go to bed or else she is disinterested. Are other women like this?
Demographers and attorneys tell us that something dramatic is happening to the baby-boomer generation, which is now averaging nearly sixty years of age. They will soon inherit more than $10.4 trillion as their parents pass from the scene. It will be the greatest transfer of wealth in the history of the world. The question is, how will they handle this sudden affluence?
When married persons find themselves hurtling relentlessly toward a divorce, they sometimes turn to marriage counselors, ministers, psychologists and psychiatrists to stem the tide...but it may be inadequate to save a dying marriage. Why? Because the counsel is directed at surface issues.
Whether a few days, weeks, or months after the wedding, something begins to happen to “that lovin’ feeling.” A man and woman just seem to lose the wind in their romantic sails. It does not always occur, but too often it does.
In an effort to draw on the experiences of those who have lived together successfully as husbands and wives, we asked married couples to participate in an informal study. More than six hundred people agreed to speak candidly about the concepts and methods that have worked in their homes. The advice is not new, but it's a great place to begin.
Question: Dr. Dobson, with regards to my spouse’s bad behavior, I have been taught by Christian leaders who say as believers, "We have no rights." If I understand what they say, I should not even notice instances of disrespect because I have no right to be defended. Do you disagree?
Some men will never be able to meet the needs of their wives. They don't understand how women think and have never been required to "give" to anyone. Those who are married to these unromantic and noncommunicative men must decide what is reasonable to expect and how they can forge a meaningful life together.
In previous generations, some people believed women were not supposed to enjoy sex. Even today some Christians still feel that sex between marital partners is somehow sinful or "dirty." But there's nothing biblical about either viewpoint.
I will not soon forget a television program aired in Los Angeles which was devoted to the topic of aging. It was one of those unusual documentaries which burns its way into the viewer's memory forever. The subject for the half-hour program was an eighty-eight-year-old woman named Elizabeth Holt Hartford. She lived in a tiny room of a decrepit hotel in the slum section of Los Angeles. The film crew for the station selected Miss Hartford to dramatize the plight of the poverty-stricken, sick old people who populate the central part of the city.
By Dr. Eric Scalise
There are multiple and sometimes, ambiguous definitions of what we refer to as “leadership.” Leaders have been characterized as visionary, transformational, charismatic, and even servant-oriented. In today’s post-modern culture, one that increasingly undermines a Christian worldview, leadership challenges abound everywhere for moms and dads in the 21st century.
Some years ago, in an effort to draw on the experiences of those who have lived together harmoniously as husbands and wives, we asked married couples to participate in an informal study. More than six hundred people agreed to speak candidly about the concepts and methods that have succeeded in their homes for thirty, forty, or even fifty years.
By Dr. Tim Clinton
Mother. Every time a child is born—so is a mother. It has often been said that in that one moment when a mother sees her newborn child for the first time, nine months of discomfort and the hours of pain and delivery are completely forgotten. An innate eternal bond is instantly formed that transcends and eclipses all other relationships.
There is still no substitute for the biblical prescription for marriage, nor will its wisdom ever be replaced. A successful husband and wife relationship begins with the attitude of the man; he has been ordained by God as the head of the family, and the responsibility for its welfare rests upon his shoulders. This charge can be found in the early writings of Moses in the Old Testament, returning at least 5000 years into Jewish history.
What are the mysterious ingredients that almost all good marriages have in common? What accounts for the marvelous blending of personalities when two separate and distinct individuals establish a young family and then live together in love and in harmony for the next fifty or sixty years? Is anything of significance know about these long-term marriages that will help others achieve stability in a world of impermanence?
We turn our attention now to the relationship between husbands and wives, which reminds me of a telephone call I received recently from a man who had read my previous book The Strong-Willed Child. It did not answer his questions. Furthermore, he said he had read my earlier book What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, and it didn't satisfy his needs, either.
The Greek translation for the word encouragement is parakletos, which literally means "called alongside to help." It brings to mind the scriptural image of two people yoked side by side, as when Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:29–30).
Do you think women need men more than men need women? Which sex copes best when living without the other? That very interesting question is addressed by the brilliant social commentator George Gilder in his classic book Men and Marriage. Gilder acknowledges that men and women were designed for each other and often feel incomplete alone.
Robertson McQuilkin, as reported in his book A Promise Kept, served as president of a thriving seminary and Bible college in South Carolina for more than twenty years. His wife, Muriel, supported him in many ways, including as an excellent cook and hostess when they entertained guests of the college in their home. They were an effective ministry team.
The sexes are designed with highly specific—but quite different—psychological needs. Each is vulnerable to the other in unique ways. When reduced to the basics, women need men to be romantic, caring, and loving. Men need women to be respectful, supportive, and loyal.
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