By Dr. James Dobson
During my freshman year I entered the mile run in a field of about twenty men. I was in good shape and finished second to an outstanding senior who rarely lost. He graduated that year and left the vacancy to me. Unfortunately, I discovered girls in my sophomore year and I let myself get a little soft. I had no idea that my body was going to play dead on that day of the race. I walked onto the track full of expectancy and determination.
The best way of keeping a marriage healthy is to maintain a system of mutual accountability, with the context of love. Speaking personally, the secret of my beautiful relationship with Shirley has involved a careful protection of the "line of respect" between us. This is a difficult concept to convey and its function is different from one personality to another. Perhaps by explaining how it operates between Shirley and me, I can help the reader adapt the principle to his own circumstances.
Some years ago, in an effort to draw on the experiences of those who have lived together harmoniously as husbands and wives, we asked married couples to participate in an informal study. More than six hundred people agreed to speak candidly about the concepts and methods that have succeeded in their homes for thirty, forty, or even fifty years.
By Dr. Tim Clinton
Most would respond, "Over food" — "with my kids" — "in church". Common answers. Good answers. But Jesus talked about a place of prayer that really mattered to Him — the "secret place". A place of solitude where He would often withdraw into privacy and spiritual intimacy with His Father.
By Dr. Eric Scalise
What is encouragement and why is it so essential for maintaining healthy marriages and families. Encouragement represents positive influence, to literally give courage to someone—not waiting until it’s deserved or asked for, but taking initiative when things are difficult and uncertain. There are many synonyms one could use: to give support, confidence or hope to another; to hearten, cheer, uplift, inspire, motivate, vitalize, embolden, or rally. The impact can be far reaching and often makes a difference when relationships begin to falter...
The Greek translation for the word encouragement is parakletos, which literally means "called alongside to help." It brings to mind the scriptural image of two people yoked side by side, as when Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:29–30).
Inevitably, these differing assumptions collide head-on during the early years of marriage. Young John is out there competing like crazy in the marketplace, thinking his successes are automatically appreciated by the lady at home. To his shock, she not only fails to notice, but even seems to resent the work that takes him from her. "I'm doing it for you, babe!" he says. Diane isn't convinced.
"Home-work" imposes some special frustrations and tensions on women, and we should face them squarely. Even for a mother who is deeply committed to her family and its welfare, there may be times when she feels like running away from her tribe. Small children, such as...
The art of communication doesn't come naturally to most of us. Some folks just don't like to talk much. Others talk incessantly without ever really saying anything. But when it comes to marriage, communication is one of the keys to intimacy.
Can you be more specific regarding the differences in sexual desire and preferences between males and females? Since I'm getting married next July, I would like to know how my future husband's need will differ from my own. Could you summarize the major distinctions that will occur between us?
Marriages and families today are facing an epidemic of addiction related issues and problems. Some addictions involve the use of chemicals and substances and other addictions are more behavioral. Nevertheless, the statistics are staggering and they are sobering
By what means can I test my feelings and impressions? What are the steps necessary to prove the will of God?
By Julie Clinton
Cell phones. The Internet. Social Media. We are constantly connected. Technologically, we are closer together than ever. Yet relationally, we couldn’t be further apart. Isn’t it ironic that as “social” as our world is today, we are getting less relational? Loneliness is one of the great social ills of our day. Our world is full of lonely people. People are longing for connection and true community and love.
Shirley and I have taken our prayer life a bit more seriously. In fact, this communication between man and God has been the stabilizing factor throughout our twenty-seven years of married life. In good times, in hard times, in moments of anxiety and in periods of praise, we have shared this wonderful privilege of talking directly to our Heavenly Father. What a concept.
Of course, even in the best of marriages, it is possible for husbands and wives to err and break the other's trust. That is why we must rely on God's power—not our own—if we hope to achieve an intimate marriage. It is only when husbands and wives commit themselves to living according to God's ways that a deep and lasting bond of trust develops between them.
The surest way to build trust in marriage is through your actions. Build a record of choices and deeds that proves to your partner you can be trusted at all times.
God created sex for physical pleasure between a husband and wife. In the context of marriage, sexual intimacy is a good. Beautiful. God-honoring. Holy. In fact, it's worship. While many Christians view sex as bad or dirty, a woman of true, godly beauty delights and rejoices in her sexuality as a God-given gift to be shared with her man. It's time to redeem our sexuality.
Some years ago, Toby Keith popularized a country music song titled, I Wanna Talk About Me. The lyrics poke fun at communication between a man and woman, but they also highlight the trend in an ever growing "Me First" generation.
I was sitting with my daughter Megan as she read through this chapter’s outline. When she read the title “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not,” she giggled comically. “What’s so funny over there?” Tim asked, watching TV from the sofa nearby. He had just asked me if I used to play that game with daisies when I was little.
Love can be defined in myriad ways, but in marriage “I love you” really means “I promise to be there for you all of my days.” It is a promise that says, “I’ll be there when you lose your job, your health, your parents, your looks, your confidence, your friends.” It’s a promise that tells your partner, “I’ll build you up; I’ll overlook your weaknesses; I’ll forgive your mistakes; I’ll put your needs above my own; I’ll stick by you even when the going gets tough.”
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Connect With Dr. James Dobson
Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.
Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. He has been active in governmental affairs and has advised three U.S. presidents on family matters. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development. He holds 17 honorary doctoral degrees, and was inducted in 2008 into The National Radio Hall of Fame. Dr. Dobson recently received the “Great American Award” from The Awakening.
Dr. Dobson is married to Shirley and they have two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren. The Dobsons reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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