By JT Waresak
So what does “success” mean to the Christian parent? For me, it’s to raise my kids in a manner that cultivates their hearts for God. The Apostle Paul told the early church to imitate him as he imitates Christ. I believe every parent is called to the same mission. Much of this pursuit comes down to a modeling effect.
As a Christian dad, it’s my calling to raise my children in a manner that is consistent with divine and empirical truth. Anything less and I’m compromising one of my greatest objectives in life–to raise my sons and daughters to be godly men and women. Here are 3 truths that I’ve done my best to live by and instill into the hearts and minds of my children.
If you live in mainstream media and consume the male-bashing commercials and shows, you’d believe that most women “wear the pants” and the majority of guys are more than willing to let them do it. While I agree our men need to collectively step up their pant-wearing efforts, I also believe that most men want to wear the pants and the majority of women out there want them to as well.
As a father, what kind of message do your children see you live out on a daily basis? Your words may say one thing, and your actions may say something else. Find out what you are teaching your children and may not even know it.
There is a simple truth when it comes to doing something consistently well: Make sure you’re taking care of the basics. Being a good dad is no different. Regardless of our past efforts, there are some fundamentals that we can all pursue to help us be better fathers.
Regardless of how long you've been married or the age(s) of your children, God's has positioned you to be a leader for your family. Every day you live, you have a chance to be used by God to impact your wife and children. It's time to suit up and get the job done where it matters most–in our own homes.
To think that God affords us this role as parents is truly an amazing thing. To hold your child's heart means that your child is trusting you to guard and nourish their hearts as God grows them into the young man or woman He wants them to be. Yet, how prepared am I as a dad to have my child's heart?
Wives, don’t let your husbands kid you. Even if a man doesn’t deserve respect or act like he wants it from his wife, it is something he desperately desires. Every man wants to be his wife’s knight in shining armor and needs to know that you value him as a man.
There are a number of things our wives consistently need from us as husbands to make a great and lasting marriage. You would think that after 25 years of marriage I would have these principles embedded within my brain and heart. I don’t know if it’s a me-thing or a guy-thing, but I still need to be reminded to refocus on these things on a regular basis. Here’s my current top seven:
As fathers, we must vow now to put an end to this and raise our boys to become men when they hit their late teen years. If they can father a child and fight for our country, they better be men and not merely boys. We need to show them what real manhood is all about, and we must pursue it with great focus, intensity and passion.
You will likely never hear of this leadership lesson in most schools or textbooks these days. However, it is very likely the most powerful instruction on leadership the world has ever known...
It's not an issue of capability or capacity. It's all about design. God created a man to be first a husband, and if God wills it, a father. Women need not apply nor should they attempt to fulfill a man's fatherhood role.
Let’s face it. The world is running a race filled with endless activities that matter little before God's greater plan for our lives. The end result is this: The mere busyness of life consumes us that we end up missing out on what matters most. It’s like a revolving door that's spinning out of control. The faster we go the harder it is to get out.
While there is no secret ingredient to be a great dad, there are some definite traits that create a life pattern that yields some God-honoring results.
Over the past decade in family ministry, I’ve met only a few men that haven’t struggled with pornography in some way. Really, when I think about it, I’ve only met one man (that I believe) that told me it wasn’t a problem for him. So if you’re a wife and/or a mom with a teen son reading this blog, know this: Your husband and/or son(s) are likely struggling with this issue or will soon be struggling with this issue. I’m not writing this to scare you. It’s a reality, and we need to collectively do something about it.
We live in a day where respect of others is a dying character trait. As a man, a husband and as a father, living a life of respecting others is one of the most important goals I can pursue. This doesn’t mean I’m a doormat or won’t confront problems as they come up. It’s just the opposite. Out of my love and respect of others, I am compelled to encourage and confront. To do nothing when there is a known need is never an option. No where is this more needed today than in the lives of our fathers.
I recently shared with my 21-year-old daughter that there is a good reason why dads need to be involved in this whole process. We don’t care a lick about how cute a guy may be. To be honest, as a dad, I’m somewhat blind to this because I’m not interested in what he looks like. I care most about who he is.
Men, we’ve willingly accepted culture’s wimpy views of manhood and allowed a generation of boys and girls to think little or less of the men they call daddy. In many ways, we are lukewarm when it comes to our faith and families. Yet, at the end of the day, we hold the destiny of manhood within our own hands. Men, our wives, children and our nation need for us to be de-wimpified and recapture a vision of true manhood. God's calling over our lives compels us to do something about it.
As a Christian man, my man code needs to be determined by God and not by the prevailing cultural norms of our day. Within the Person and life of Jesus Christ, along with God’s Word, I have the absolute picture of what a real man should look like. I also know a number of God-given directives that reveal some things that men should do as well as never do.
Yet, these same dads will tell you that they've had their fair share of fatherhood regrets. However, as I have watched, read and learned from these amazing fathers, I’ve picked up on some things that I know that they’ll never regret.
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