Voices of the Family | Family Talk

Watch Out For The Entitlement Trap

Written by Dr. James Dobson | May 01, 2017
For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and theSpirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  

– Galatians 5:17

That sinful nature often rears its head in theform of the thought I deserve more. It leads us to demand the best deal,the lion's share, the most credit, and the finest of everything. Fromearliest childhood, as we have seen, our impulse is to focus on ourselvesand to disregard the needs of others.

And, yes, this "Ideserveit" attitude can permeate marriages. Resentmentcan build over who works the hardest, who spends more than his or her shareof the money, and who is not doing enough to serve the other. Anger thenerupts over insignificant irritants that bubble up from the cauldron ofemotions. Many fights in marriage begin with the belief that we're beingcheated in the relationship.

Beware of this trap. The minute we begin thinking that we are entitled tomore, we've started down the slippery road to selfishness. It can devastatea relationship.

John Ferrier didn't deserve to die in an Ohio neighborhood—but when crisiscame, he chose to sacrifice for others. Jesus didn't deserve to be nailedto a wooden cross—but out of love for the Father and for us, He allowedHimself to be crucified. This kind of sacrificial love seeks to serve, not"deserve"—and that changes everything!