Skip to content
Attention Students!
Enter America’s 250th Anniversary Essay Contest by April 30. Learn more here.
Showing Slide 1 of 1
DONATE
(877) 732-6825
Search
GO
Donate Now
Broadcasts
Latest Broadcast
How Parents Can Resolve Conflict and Find Peace with Their Adult Children, Part 1
June 2, 2026
Many parents find that when their children reach adulthood, the relationship becomes more complicated than they expected.
Station Finder
Recent Broadcasts
What the Bible Says About Being a Man
June 1, 2026
The Progressive Miseducation of America, Part 2
May 29, 2026
The Progressive Miseducation of America, Part 1
May 28, 2026
All Broadcasts
Blogs
Latest Blog
Why Are More Adult Children Cutting Off Their Christian Parents?
June 2, 2026
My friend, Bill, is heartbroken. His 21-year-old son moved to another state to be with a young woman, eloped, and has since cut off all communication with Bill. For years, his son accused him of being abusive, but when pressed for specifics, he described the strict standards by which he was raised. Bill had said “no” to certain behaviors and enforced clear boundaries. Godly parenting like that has increasingly become grounds for grown children to cut off their families. Dr. James Dobson long reminded moms and dads that while none of us lead our homes perfectly, millions sincerely strive to raise their children according to biblical principles. Many of those mothers and fathers are now facing an unexpected reality: their grown children are walking away—not only from their faith, but from them. The statistics are sobering. Research from Cornell University’s Family Reconciliation Project found that roughly 27% of American adults report being estranged from at least one family member, with parent–adult child alienation affecting an estimated one in ten families. Psychologist Joshua Coleman, author of
Rules of Estrangement
, notes that this type of parental division has become increasingly common in the past two decades. At the same time, Pew Research reports that younger generations are significantly more likely to leave their parents' Christian faith, creating a widening spiritual and moral divide within families. Many parents are stunned. They raised their children in church, set boundaries, and said “no” when necessary. They believed they were faithfully obeying Scripture. Now, their grown children are reinterpreting those very decisions through a different cultural lens—one that is shaped by therapeutic language, heightened emphasis on emotional safety, and social media narratives that often equate disagreement with harm. This is not to dismiss actual abuse. Genuine mistreatment is grievous and must be confronted. But we are also seeing a broader cultural shift in which firm parenting, moral conviction, or traditional Christian teaching can be reframed as “trauma” or “control.” For Christian parents, this collision of faith and modern identity formation can be devastating. So how should we respond? What follows is a biblical framework to help you move forward. If you’re the parent of younger children, these principles are important to keep in mind for the future.
Anchor Yourself in God’s Design for Family
There’s a good reason Dr. Dobson wrote the book,
Parenting Isn’t for Cowards
. He knew society was moving against anyone who dared to speak truth to their children. In that book, he said, “Love must be the foundation of discipline.” We know that “God is love,” and His Word establishes ideals for how the family should function. For instance, the fifth commandment still stands: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12, ESV). But the Bible also says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). God’s design includes both authority and gentleness; truth and tenderness. If you’re estranged with your adult kids, begin by anchoring yourself in this reality: obedience to God’s Word is never abuse. Imperfect parenting and sinful mistakes will happen. But faithful obedience to biblical conviction is not cruelty—it is loving.
Examine Your Heart With Humility
Even when accusations feel exaggerated or unfair, Scripture calls us to self-examination: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” (Psalm 139:23). Estrangement does not automatically mean you were abusive. But it is wise to ask: Were there patterns of harshness? Was correction consistent and loving? Did my child feel heard, even when I said no? The best way to disarm defensiveness is with humility. If there are real failures on your part, own them specifically. Confession does not weaken authority; it reflects the character of Christ.
Understand the Season of Emerging Adulthood
Developmental psychologist Jeffrey Arnett describes the late teens through twenties as “emerging adulthood,” a period marked by identity exploration and differentiation from parents. Jesus, Himself, warned that allegiance to Him could divide families (Luke 12:51–53). He also said in John 3:19-20: “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” Sometimes estrangement reflects not your failure, but your child’s struggle to define himself apart from the Christian values you represent—and perhaps apart from God as well. But there’s hope. Dr. Dobson often reassured parents that the turbulence of the late teens and early twenties does not necessarily predict a child’s final trajectory. Many who pull away during those years later rediscover the very values they once resisted.
Leave the Door Open
In Scripture, the father in The Parable of the Prodigal Son did not chase after his boy into the far country. He didn’t continually fund the rebellion. He didn’t compromise truth. But he watched. And when the son returned, “while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion” (Luke 15:20). For heartbroken parents, this is both a source of comfort and instruction: The father controlled his own actions by watching for his son’s return, keeping a gentle spirit, leaving the door open for communication, and refusing to become bitter. Romans 12:18 reminds us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Reconciliation requires two willing parties. Faithfulness requires only one.
Suffer Without Losing Hope
Peter wrote to believers experiencing unjust suffering: “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return… but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). If you are being misunderstood, entrust your reputation to the Lord through prayer. Time has a way of clarifying narratives. Truth does not panic. God sees what others may misinterpret.
A Word to Younger Parents
Today’s children are growing up in a world that prizes self-expression above obedience and emotional validation above authority. To help you avoid future estrangement, follow Dr. Dobson’s parenting advice:
Practice consistent warmth alongside clear boundaries
Explain the “why” behind your convictions
Invite questions without surrendering your conscience
Model repentance when you fail
Prioritize the relationship, not just enforcement of rules
Remember, discipline and instruction must be paired with gentleness. Your goal is not merely outward compliance, but hearts shaped by grace and truth. This isn’t a guarantee that your kids won’t cut off communication with you one day, but it’s the best strategy for keeping the relationship intact.
A Final Word of Hope
Estrangement doesn’t have to be the end of the story. God is still in the business of restoring families, and many grown children reconcile years later. You are not alone in your grief. You are not abusive for holding biblical convictions. And you are not powerless. Pray persistently for your children to surrender their hearts to the Lord. Ask Him to help restore the broken relationship with you; love patiently, and stand firmly. Our Father who reconciled us to Himself through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:18) is able to work in your child’s heart—even when you cannot see it. And until He does, remain faithful.
Recent Blogs
Dealing with Betrayal and Abandonment
June 1, 2026
Becoming a Godly Husband Before Marriage
June 1, 2026
A Father’s Influence
May 27, 2026
Read All Blogs
Policy & Culture
Marriage & Parenting
Dr. Dobson Minute
Resources
×
Broadcasts
Latest Broadcast
How Parents Can Resolve Conflict and Find Peace with Their Adult Children, Part 1
June 2, 2026
Many parents find that when their children reach adulthood, the relationship becomes more complicated than they expected.
Station Finder
Recent Broadcasts
What the Bible Says About Being a Man
June 1, 2026
The Progressive Miseducation of America, Part 2
May 29, 2026
The Progressive Miseducation of America, Part 1
May 28, 2026
All Broadcasts
Blogs
Latest Blog
Why Are More Adult Children Cutting Off Their Christian Parents?
June 2, 2026
My friend, Bill, is heartbroken. His 21-year-old son moved to another state to be with a young woman, eloped, and has since cut off all communication with Bill. For years, his son accused him of being abusive, but when pressed for specifics, he described the strict standards by which he was raised. Bill had said “no” to certain behaviors and enforced clear boundaries. Godly parenting like that has increasingly become grounds for grown children to cut off their families. Dr. James Dobson long reminded moms and dads that while none of us lead our homes perfectly, millions sincerely strive to raise their children according to biblical principles. Many of those mothers and fathers are now facing an unexpected reality: their grown children are walking away—not only from their faith, but from them. The statistics are sobering. Research from Cornell University’s Family Reconciliation Project found that roughly 27% of American adults report being estranged from at least one family member, with parent–adult child alienation affecting an estimated one in ten families. Psychologist Joshua Coleman, author of
Rules of Estrangement
, notes that this type of parental division has become increasingly common in the past two decades. At the same time, Pew Research reports that younger generations are significantly more likely to leave their parents' Christian faith, creating a widening spiritual and moral divide within families. Many parents are stunned. They raised their children in church, set boundaries, and said “no” when necessary. They believed they were faithfully obeying Scripture. Now, their grown children are reinterpreting those very decisions through a different cultural lens—one that is shaped by therapeutic language, heightened emphasis on emotional safety, and social media narratives that often equate disagreement with harm. This is not to dismiss actual abuse. Genuine mistreatment is grievous and must be confronted. But we are also seeing a broader cultural shift in which firm parenting, moral conviction, or traditional Christian teaching can be reframed as “trauma” or “control.” For Christian parents, this collision of faith and modern identity formation can be devastating. So how should we respond? What follows is a biblical framework to help you move forward. If you’re the parent of younger children, these principles are important to keep in mind for the future.
Anchor Yourself in God’s Design for Family
There’s a good reason Dr. Dobson wrote the book,
Parenting Isn’t for Cowards
. He knew society was moving against anyone who dared to speak truth to their children. In that book, he said, “Love must be the foundation of discipline.” We know that “God is love,” and His Word establishes ideals for how the family should function. For instance, the fifth commandment still stands: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12, ESV). But the Bible also says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). God’s design includes both authority and gentleness; truth and tenderness. If you’re estranged with your adult kids, begin by anchoring yourself in this reality: obedience to God’s Word is never abuse. Imperfect parenting and sinful mistakes will happen. But faithful obedience to biblical conviction is not cruelty—it is loving.
Examine Your Heart With Humility
Even when accusations feel exaggerated or unfair, Scripture calls us to self-examination: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” (Psalm 139:23). Estrangement does not automatically mean you were abusive. But it is wise to ask: Were there patterns of harshness? Was correction consistent and loving? Did my child feel heard, even when I said no? The best way to disarm defensiveness is with humility. If there are real failures on your part, own them specifically. Confession does not weaken authority; it reflects the character of Christ.
Understand the Season of Emerging Adulthood
Developmental psychologist Jeffrey Arnett describes the late teens through twenties as “emerging adulthood,” a period marked by identity exploration and differentiation from parents. Jesus, Himself, warned that allegiance to Him could divide families (Luke 12:51–53). He also said in John 3:19-20: “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” Sometimes estrangement reflects not your failure, but your child’s struggle to define himself apart from the Christian values you represent—and perhaps apart from God as well. But there’s hope. Dr. Dobson often reassured parents that the turbulence of the late teens and early twenties does not necessarily predict a child’s final trajectory. Many who pull away during those years later rediscover the very values they once resisted.
Leave the Door Open
In Scripture, the father in The Parable of the Prodigal Son did not chase after his boy into the far country. He didn’t continually fund the rebellion. He didn’t compromise truth. But he watched. And when the son returned, “while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion” (Luke 15:20). For heartbroken parents, this is both a source of comfort and instruction: The father controlled his own actions by watching for his son’s return, keeping a gentle spirit, leaving the door open for communication, and refusing to become bitter. Romans 12:18 reminds us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Reconciliation requires two willing parties. Faithfulness requires only one.
Suffer Without Losing Hope
Peter wrote to believers experiencing unjust suffering: “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return… but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). If you are being misunderstood, entrust your reputation to the Lord through prayer. Time has a way of clarifying narratives. Truth does not panic. God sees what others may misinterpret.
A Word to Younger Parents
Today’s children are growing up in a world that prizes self-expression above obedience and emotional validation above authority. To help you avoid future estrangement, follow Dr. Dobson’s parenting advice:
Practice consistent warmth alongside clear boundaries
Explain the “why” behind your convictions
Invite questions without surrendering your conscience
Model repentance when you fail
Prioritize the relationship, not just enforcement of rules
Remember, discipline and instruction must be paired with gentleness. Your goal is not merely outward compliance, but hearts shaped by grace and truth. This isn’t a guarantee that your kids won’t cut off communication with you one day, but it’s the best strategy for keeping the relationship intact.
A Final Word of Hope
Estrangement doesn’t have to be the end of the story. God is still in the business of restoring families, and many grown children reconcile years later. You are not alone in your grief. You are not abusive for holding biblical convictions. And you are not powerless. Pray persistently for your children to surrender their hearts to the Lord. Ask Him to help restore the broken relationship with you; love patiently, and stand firmly. Our Father who reconciled us to Himself through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:18) is able to work in your child’s heart—even when you cannot see it. And until He does, remain faithful.
Recent Blogs
Dealing with Betrayal and Abandonment
June 1, 2026
Becoming a Godly Husband Before Marriage
June 1, 2026
A Father’s Influence
May 27, 2026
Read All Blogs
Policy & Culture
Marriage & Parenting
Dr. Dobson Minute
Resources
Donate
Broadcasts
Policy & Culture
Marriage & Parenting
Blogs
Dr. Dobson Minute
Resources
×
Donate
Broadcasts
Policy & Culture
Marriage & Parenting
Blogs
Dr. Dobson Minute
Resources
×
Search
Broadcast Off
Listen Now
Great things are on the horizon
Something big is brewing! Our store is in the works and will be launching soon!