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      Singleness is Not a Holding Pattern

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      June 21, 2026
      If you are single, you are not unusual, forgotten, or behind schedule. You’re living in a chapter that millions of other adults are experiencing right now. In 2023, 42% of U.S. adults were either not married or were living with a partner, according to Pew Research. Census data shows that about one-third of Americans age 15 and older have never walked down the aisle. Fewer than half of U.S. households today consist of a traditional husband and wife, and the average age for experiencing first nuptials has risen to around 30 for men and 28 for women. Singleness is not rare or strange in this day and age. It is a common part of modern life for many people. Yet statistics cannot describe the struggles many singles face. On one of his radio broadcasts, Dr. James Dobson talked about the woman who feels lonely and adrift, who hears the clock ticking, who longs to find someone to love, to have children, to create a home, to decorate it, and someday to hold grandchildren. He spoke of the ache that comes when that dream appears to be slipping away, when she fears it may never happen. Dr. Dobson’s advice was simple and direct: “Become someone instead of looking for someone.” Many young people hope to marry someday. The longing for partnership is woven into creation when God said it was not good for man to be alone. Desiring a marital relationship does not make you shallow or unspiritual. At the same time, a marriage does not erase desire. Wedded couples still wrestle with unmet expectations, isolation within the relationship, conflict, financial stress, mood swings, and seasons of emotional distance. The human heart continually reaches for more. Learning to bring those desires under Christ’s authority—entrusting them to Him rather than letting them dominate you—is part of spiritual maturity, whether you have a spouse or not. Trusting God with unfulfilled hopes is not passive resignation; it is active faith that believes He is wise, good, and attentive to every detail of your life. Scripture also offers a wider view of this subject. In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul explains that the unmarried person can focus on the things of the Lord with less distractions. A wedded person must care for a mate and, often, children. Those responsibilities are good and holy, but they require time and attention. Paul honors the institution of marriage, yet he also points out that for many, it’s a distinct advantage to stay single. For some, this chapter of life does not seem like an opportunity at all. It feels like a trial. This discontentment is certainly understandable, but it’s important to remember that this stage of life can turn into a blessing. James 1 tells believers to consider it joy when they face trials of various kinds, because the testing of faith produces steadfastness, which leads toward maturity. If singleness feels heavy or unwanted, that does not mean it is pointless. God often uses difficult stretches in our lives to form endurance, deepen trust, and increase faith. Learning to rest in the Lord when His timeline doesn’t match our own is one of the ways He helps us to grow in Him. Part of that is relational. If you haven’t found the person of your dreams yet, you might think of this period mainly in terms of what you don't yet have, but the Apostle Paul points to what you can give. With fewer family demands, you may have greater flexibility to reach out to others. You can build strong friendships that go beyond surface conversation. You can serve families in your church who are stretched thin. You can mentor a younger believer who needs guidance. You can open your home, even if it’s small, for prayer, laughter, studying the Bible, and having honest conversation. By doing so, you’re not simply filling hours; you’re investing in the lives of others. The advice that Dr. Dobson discussed about “becoming someone instead of looking for someone” invites a shift in focus. Instead of pouring all your energy into finding the right person, you can devote steady effort to becoming a mature, faithful, and grounded follower of Christ. That includes learning to rest in His sovereignty rather than anxiously trying to control your future. Healthy marriages are built by people who practice patience, manage responsibilities wisely, keep their word, and seek God when life feels uncertain. These qualities are not formed quickly. They develop through daily choices. As you confront pride, practice self-control, and choose kindness in tense moments, you are shaping a character that will bless a future spouse. As you serve in your church and commit to authentic community, you strengthen your ability to love people as they truly are, not as you wish they would be. In that sense, you are not merely waiting to be chosen; you are learning to love well long before a wedding day arrives. It is also important to remember that walking down the aisle will not cure loneliness or remove insecurity. Two incomplete people do not create wholeness by entering marriage. Only Christ makes a person whole. When your identity rests in Him, you approach a marital relationship, should it come, as a giver rather than a taker, ready to serve instead of hoping to be rescued. The New Testament teaches that every believer belongs to Jesus as His bride. Earthly unions are temporary, but your bond with Him is eternal. Your life is already joined to the One who loves you immeasurably, and that love anchors you whether marriage comes soon, later, or not at all. You can rest in Him today, trusting that no act of obedience and no surrendered desire is ever wasted.

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      June 16, 2026
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      Singleness is Not a Holding Pattern

      Singleness is Not a Holding Pattern

      June 21, 2026
      If you are single, you are not unusual, forgotten, or behind schedule. You’re living in a chapter that millions of other adults are experiencing right now. In 2023, 42% of U.S. adults were either not married or were living with a partner, according to Pew Research. Census data shows that about one-third of Americans age 15 and older have never walked down the aisle. Fewer than half of U.S. households today consist of a traditional husband and wife, and the average age for experiencing first nuptials has risen to around 30 for men and 28 for women. Singleness is not rare or strange in this day and age. It is a common part of modern life for many people. Yet statistics cannot describe the struggles many singles face. On one of his radio broadcasts, Dr. James Dobson talked about the woman who feels lonely and adrift, who hears the clock ticking, who longs to find someone to love, to have children, to create a home, to decorate it, and someday to hold grandchildren. He spoke of the ache that comes when that dream appears to be slipping away, when she fears it may never happen. Dr. Dobson’s advice was simple and direct: “Become someone instead of looking for someone.” Many young people hope to marry someday. The longing for partnership is woven into creation when God said it was not good for man to be alone. Desiring a marital relationship does not make you shallow or unspiritual. At the same time, a marriage does not erase desire. Wedded couples still wrestle with unmet expectations, isolation within the relationship, conflict, financial stress, mood swings, and seasons of emotional distance. The human heart continually reaches for more. Learning to bring those desires under Christ’s authority—entrusting them to Him rather than letting them dominate you—is part of spiritual maturity, whether you have a spouse or not. Trusting God with unfulfilled hopes is not passive resignation; it is active faith that believes He is wise, good, and attentive to every detail of your life. Scripture also offers a wider view of this subject. In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul explains that the unmarried person can focus on the things of the Lord with less distractions. A wedded person must care for a mate and, often, children. Those responsibilities are good and holy, but they require time and attention. Paul honors the institution of marriage, yet he also points out that for many, it’s a distinct advantage to stay single. For some, this chapter of life does not seem like an opportunity at all. It feels like a trial. This discontentment is certainly understandable, but it’s important to remember that this stage of life can turn into a blessing. James 1 tells believers to consider it joy when they face trials of various kinds, because the testing of faith produces steadfastness, which leads toward maturity. If singleness feels heavy or unwanted, that does not mean it is pointless. God often uses difficult stretches in our lives to form endurance, deepen trust, and increase faith. Learning to rest in the Lord when His timeline doesn’t match our own is one of the ways He helps us to grow in Him. Part of that is relational. If you haven’t found the person of your dreams yet, you might think of this period mainly in terms of what you don't yet have, but the Apostle Paul points to what you can give. With fewer family demands, you may have greater flexibility to reach out to others. You can build strong friendships that go beyond surface conversation. You can serve families in your church who are stretched thin. You can mentor a younger believer who needs guidance. You can open your home, even if it’s small, for prayer, laughter, studying the Bible, and having honest conversation. By doing so, you’re not simply filling hours; you’re investing in the lives of others. The advice that Dr. Dobson discussed about “becoming someone instead of looking for someone” invites a shift in focus. Instead of pouring all your energy into finding the right person, you can devote steady effort to becoming a mature, faithful, and grounded follower of Christ. That includes learning to rest in His sovereignty rather than anxiously trying to control your future. Healthy marriages are built by people who practice patience, manage responsibilities wisely, keep their word, and seek God when life feels uncertain. These qualities are not formed quickly. They develop through daily choices. As you confront pride, practice self-control, and choose kindness in tense moments, you are shaping a character that will bless a future spouse. As you serve in your church and commit to authentic community, you strengthen your ability to love people as they truly are, not as you wish they would be. In that sense, you are not merely waiting to be chosen; you are learning to love well long before a wedding day arrives. It is also important to remember that walking down the aisle will not cure loneliness or remove insecurity. Two incomplete people do not create wholeness by entering marriage. Only Christ makes a person whole. When your identity rests in Him, you approach a marital relationship, should it come, as a giver rather than a taker, ready to serve instead of hoping to be rescued. The New Testament teaches that every believer belongs to Jesus as His bride. Earthly unions are temporary, but your bond with Him is eternal. Your life is already joined to the One who loves you immeasurably, and that love anchors you whether marriage comes soon, later, or not at all. You can rest in Him today, trusting that no act of obedience and no surrendered desire is ever wasted.

      Recent Blogs

      In Celebration of Juneteenth

      June 18, 2026

      The Dangers of Leaving a Large Inheritance

      June 17, 2026

      7 Ways That Dads Influence Their Daughters

      June 16, 2026
      Read All Blogs
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Day: December 19, 2014

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Handling Holidays

Dr. Dobson recommends that you don’t take your work on vacation. Unplug and be there for your family.

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