“Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.”
– Leviticus 19:29 (NIV)
Modesty, which has represented the essence of womanhood for millennia, has undergone a radical transformation. Virginity is now seen as evidence of weakness and timidity. A modern woman should be brash, profane, aggressive, loud, angry, tough, and independent—anything but feminine and demure. Above all, she must be sexually liberated, which holds the key to her sense of empowerment. Engaging in casual hookups and immodest behavior, and even nudity in co-ed bathrooms, is thought to build confidence and display strength. This convoluted view of feminine nature turns reality on its head. Nevertheless, the majority of today’s teens and young adults, especially those attending secular universities, have been indoctrinated with moral relativism from which libertine behavior emanates.
At a time when moral clarity is desperately needed, those who ought to be helping to hold the line are adding to the confusion and the enticement of youth. What chance do immature kids have to make right choices when even adults are urging them to do things that are foolish and dangerous? It’s hard enough for them to remain chaste in this hyper-sexualized culture. It is almost impossible if pastors, teachers, coaches, counselors, nurses, grandparents, aunts, and uncles remain silent. Without them, there will be no stopping evil influences. As unconscionable as it seems, many moms and dads actually urge their teens to be promiscuous. It is difficult to understand why, given what is at stake.
How sad are the children and teens whose parents accept and endorse the distortions of the hookup culture in this way. Rather than offering wisdom, they add to the confusion and temptations of youth. The ultimate responsibility for guidance and moral training of children lies with mothers and fathers.
The fact is that while sexual purity is wholesome and morally significant for both sexes, and the Scriptures make no distinction between them, it remains true that women dearly pay a higher price for sexual misbehavior, emotionally and physically. It has always been that way. It will be true for your daughters, too. Begin steering your boys and girls away from the hookup culture when they are young. Initially, that is accomplished by teaching reasonable standards of modesty and virtue. Tell them that some things are right and others wrong, and spell out the differences between them. Explain that moral principles are eternal and are established by our Creator, to whom we are accountable. Those standards are a reflection of His very character. His Word is the basis for behavioral boundaries, which are given for our benefit. Teach the meaning of marriage and explain why virginity is a precious gift for a future husband or wife. Tell your sons and daughters they have no right to give it to anyone else, and assure them that they will never regret preserving it.
From Dr. James Dobson’s book, Bringing Up Girls.
Pray Over Your Daughter
Dear Heavenly Father,
I seek Your guidance in this morally challenging world. Grant me wisdom to teach my daughter Your eternal truths and the value of purity. Help me model virtue and speak openly about the sanctity of marriage. Give me discernment to navigate cultural complexities and instill in my daughter a deep understanding of right and wrong based on Your Word. Protect her heart from distorted cultural values and surround her with positive influences. I pray for clarity as I discuss sexuality, helping my daughter see that purity leads to peace in her relationship with You and aligns with Your will for her life. Guide my daughter away from harmful influences and toward righteousness. May Your love be her anchor as she resists temptation and embraces the future You have in mind for her.
Amen.
Put It Into Practice
- Start the conversation before the pressure arrives. Teach your daughter age-appropriate standards of modesty, purity, and sexuality while she is young, grounding those conversations in God’s Word.
- Explain the “why” behind your family’s values. Help your daughter understand that biblical boundaries aren’t simply restrictive rules—they reflect God’s character and are intended for her good.
- Pray for your daughter by name. Ask God to protect her heart, give her discernment, surround her with positive influences, and help her make wise choices when you’re not there to guide her.