You’ve probably seen the scary statistics. In one Lifeway Research study, 70% of young adults who regularly attended church for at least a year in high school later stopped altogether for at least a year between ages 18 and 22.

It’s understandable that parents may fear the college years, but we need to look deeper. While withdrawal from the Christian faith may become most apparent during that era, the questions, doubts, wounds, and subtle distance often begin much earlier, during the middle school years. Parents cannot wait until their child’s senior year to begin serious conversations about faith and why they believe what they do about God and Jesus. This is not simply a season to merely survive; it’s a window of opportunity.

Dr. James Dobson understood the spiritual weight of parenting when he wrote:

“I believe the most valuable contribution a parent can make to his child is to instill in him or her a genuine faith in Jesus Christ. What greater sense of self-worth could there be than knowing that the Creator of the universe is acquainted with me personally? That He values me more than the possessions of the entire world: that He understands my fears and my anxieties; that He reaches out to me in immeasurable love when no one else cares; that He actually gave His life for me; that He can turn my liabilities into assets and my emptiness into fullness; that a better life follows this one, where the present handicaps and inadequacies will all be eliminated—where earthly pain and suffering will be no more than a dim memory! What a beautiful philosophy with which to “clothe” your tender child. What a fantastic message of hope and encouragement for the broken teenager who has been crushed by life’s circumstances. This is true self-worth at its richest, dependent not on the whims of birth or social judgment or the cult of the superchild, but on divine decree.”

That kind of faith is not a thin layer of religion added to a child’s life. It is a foundation to build upon.

College may reveal a faith crisis, but it doesn’t always create it. For many kids, leaving home simply provides the freedom to act on questions and habits that formed long before they moved into a dorm room.

What does this mean for the parents of young teens? Fuller Youth Institute’s Sticky Faith research gives some direction: “Doubt is not toxic to faith; silence is.”

Young teens change in ways that can surprise parents. A small child may ask, “What happened in this Bible story?” An older child may ask, “Is this story really true?” or “Why does God allow suffering?” That shift can feel threatening, but it is a normal part of spiritual growth.

This can cause many Christian parents to panic. They hear questions from their kids about suffering, sexuality, science, hypocrisy, or Scripture and think, “My child is walking away.” But questions do not necessarily indicate rebellion. Doubts that are honestly spoken may mean your child still trusts you enough to let you in and have a discussion.

The danger is not that your son or daughter has questions. The danger is that he or she learns those questions are not welcome at home. If parents respond with fear, anger, sarcasm, or a quick dismissal, a child may keep attending church while quietly checking out.

So what should a faithful parent do?

First, responding with fear and anger is not biblical parenting. Children need loving stewardship that’s aimed at shepherding their hearts toward Christ.

Parents must be both clear and approachable. Your child should know what you believe and why it matters, and that his questions will not make you irritated. If your son says, “I’m not sure I believe the Bible is true,” you might say, “Thank you for telling me. Let’s talk about it.” That response does not surrender truth. It keeps the door wide open for discussion.

Second, don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know, but we can find out together.” Kids this age can detect shallow answers. If they ask why God allows evil, do not pretend the question is easy. Christians have thoughtful answers, but suffering is still painful and mysterious. The Bible gives us language for honest struggle. A father once cried out to Jesus the words from Scripture, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). That is not the prayer of a rebel. It is the prayer of someone bringing weakness to the ultimate source.

Third, let your children see your own dependence on God. It’s not helpful when parents pretend to be perfect. Children need to see their mom and dad repent, pray, forgive, ask forgiveness, and keep walking with Jesus when the road is rough.

Fourth, make faith part of normal life, not just church life. Spiritual formation happens in ordinary moments: in the car after sports practice, at the dinner table, during conflict, before a school test, after a disappointment, and when a news story raises hard questions.

Fifth, involve your child in the wider family of believers. Parents are the primary spiritual influence in a child’s life, but they shouldn’t be the only one. Teenagers benefit when other Christian adults, such as grandparents or close family friends, encourage them in their walk with the Lord.

Finally, remember that your goal is not merely to keep your child from leaving church, but to help him or her grow to know and love God. Church attendance, doctrine, and obedience are important, but they are meant to flow from living out one’s faith in Christ. A child’s profession of faith is not the finish line, but the beginning of a mature, personal walk with Him.

This season can be turbulent, but it is also an opportunity for growth. Your child’s questions do not have to frighten you. They can become occasions for deeper discipleship.