Women certainly wish their husbands understood these physiological factors which play such an important role in the female body.
In the normal menstrual cycle, estrogen peaks at midcycle (ovulation). Both estrogen and progesterone circulate during the second half of the cycle, falling off rapidly just prior to menstruation. Moods change with the fluctuating hormonal levels: women feel the greatest self-esteem, and the least anxiety and hostility, at midcycle.
The production of estrogen increases day by day until it peaks near the time of ovulation at midcycle. That midpoint also happens to be the time of greatest emotional optimism and self-confidence. Then another hormone, progesterone, is produced during the second half of the cycle, bringing with it increasing tension, anxiety, and aggressiveness. Finally, the two hormones decrease during the premenstrual period, reducing the mood to its lowest point again. This regular fluctuation in emotions has been documented repeatedly by various researchers. For example, “Alec Coppen and Neil Kessel studied 465 women and found that they were far more depressed and irritable before menstruation than at midcycle. This was true for neurotic, psychotic and normal women alike. Similarly, Natalie Sharness found the premenstrual phase associated with feelings of helplessness, anxiety, hostility and yearning for love. At menstruation, this tension and irritability eased, but depression often accompanied the relief, and lingered until estrogen increased.”
The information provided above can be invaluable to a woman who wants to understand her own body and its impact on her emotions. Most important, she should interpret her feelings with caution and skepticism during her premenstrual period. If she can remember that the despair and sense of worthlessness are hormonally induced and have nothing to do with reality, she can withstand the psychological nosedive more easily. She should have a little talk with herself every month, saying: “Even though I feel inadequate and inferior, I refuse to believe it. I know I’ll feel differently in a few days and it is ridiculous to let this get me down. Though the sky looks dark, I am seeing it through distorted perception. My real problem is physical, not emotional, and it will soon improve!”
Having never had a period, however, it is difficult for a man to comprehend the bloated, sluggish feeling which motivates his wife’s snappy remarks and irritability during the premenstrual period. It would be extremely helpful if a husband would learn to anticipate his wife’s menstrual period, recognizing the emotional changes which will probably accompany it.
Of particular importance will be a need for affection and tenderness during this time, even though she may be rather unlovable for three or four days. He should also avoid discussions of financial problems or other earthshaking topics until the internal storm has passed, and keep the home atmosphere a tranquil as possible. If his wife seems to be sinking into despair, he should give her the speech described for self-interpretation in the previous paragraph. In summary, the “yearning for love” described by Natalie Sharness can only be satisfied by a sympathetic and knowledgeable husband who cares enough to support his wife during the periodic pressures within.
From Dr. Dobson’s book What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.
