Does your spouse consider emotional connection even more important than what happens in the bedroom? This is very common. In fact, your mate might struggle to enjoy physical intimacy if he or she doesn’t feel nurtured and cared for first.

If you want to develop a deeper bond with your husband or wife, here are three ways to prioritize healthy communication.

1. Give Your Undivided Attention. Put your phone and other distractions away. Focus solely on your mate and look at him or her in the eyes.

2. Ask the Right Questions. It’s easy to ask: “How did your day go?” While there’s nothing wrong with this question, it is simply soliciting information. It doesn’t help you and your mate connect emotionally. Instead, invite your partner to open up by inquiring with this question: “How are you doing today?” This encourages the other person to become vulnerable and reveal his or her heart.

3. Respond Appropriately. When your spouse shares something sensitive, respond in a similar manner. A defensive or harsh reply encourages your partner to build a wall around his or her heart, making it more difficult to be vulnerable next time. Instead, be quiet and listen. Don’t try to offer a solution right away. Let him or her talk and be heard. When your mate is finished sharing, that’s the time to ask if he or she needs help. All that’s desired may just be a hug.