Husband, we’re speaking especially to you. Just as selfishness is a sure marriage killer, an attitude of service and sacrifice—the “I’m Third” philosophy—is an indisputable marriage builder. We urge you to study your wife. What is it that speaks to her heart? Are you providing that for her?

Would she appreciate help with the dishes, vacuuming, or changing the baby’s diaper? Should you be more romantic? Could you put off that weekend auto show so she can visit her sister? Maybe you’d rather go fishing on Saturday, but should you watch the kids instead so your wife can have a needed day out? 

Jesus gave us a classic example of service when He washed His disciples’ feet and told them to do the same for one another. Is it time for some symbolic “foot washing” in your marriage? Women are romantic creatures. God made them that way. Have you tried to understand that tender nature and sought to meet the needs it expresses? 

Here’s the personal payoff: If you, as a husband, will address this romantic longing, your wife, being a responder, will be drawn closer to you. You’ll get the kind of attention and admiration you hope for. Try it! 

From Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s daily devotional, Night Light for Couples.