“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.”
– Romans 15:4 (NIV)
I doubt if there has been another time in modern history when it has been more challenging to get youngsters through adolescence and into the relative safety of early adulthood. The sexual revolution of the sixties has now become the pop culture of today, although it is no longer as shocking to adults. As I mentioned earlier, there’s turmoil smoldering inside many adolescent girls. Therein lies the key to deciphering some of the behaviors that are otherwise incomprehensible. Specifically, this turbulence is the reason so many teen girls seek to harm themselves in disturbing ways. You’ve no doubt seen examples of this self-destructive behavior in the teen environment, perhaps by members of your own family.
An alarming number of girls harbor deep-seated anger that has turned inward, leading them to starve themselves even to the point of death; secretly binge and purge; take prescription medications and illegal drugs; dull their senses with alcohol; cut and pierce their bodies; permanently ink themselves; engage in things like prostitution, pornography, stripping, violence, bullying, sexual aggression, lewdness, and crudeness; and even attempt suicide, which has spiked in recent years.*
When one considers adolescent society and its obsession with the dark side of popular culture, we have reason to be discouraged about where it is headed. There is, however, a definite sunny side to be celebrated, and it is time we heralded it. The good news is that there are millions of teens who are not sleeping around, are not using illegal drugs, are not binge drinking, are not at war with their parents, and are not failing in school. These are wonderful kids who are loved at home. Many of them are deeply committed to Jesus Christ and aren’t afraid to share their faith. So, while it appears at times as though an entire generation of teens and young adults is totally lost, it is definitely not true.
I say this to offer hope and encouragement to today’s parents. You have a real shot at keeping your kids moral in a very immoral world. Don’t believe those who say, “It can’t be done.” There is much you can do to help resist the popular culture, if you have the “want to.” Teach your daughter skills that will give her a sense of identity; treat her with dignity and respect, even when she fails to earn it at times; choose your words very carefully during periods of greatest sensitivity; and help her make friends by opening your home and your heart to lost kids looking for a safe place. There are no magic answers, but there are good answers. You owe it to your daughter to hang tough and continue to point her in the right direction. Your task is to be intentional about teaching chastity, morality, and common sense to her while she is still young.
From Dr. James Dobson’s book, Bringing Up Girls.
* https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/YRBS_Data-Summary-Trends_Report2023_508.pdf.
Pray Over Your Daughter
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come before You humbled by the immense responsibility of raising my daughter in these challenging times. Lord, grant me Your wisdom, patience, and strength as I navigate the turbulent waters of adolescence. Help me to model Christ’s love and teachings in my daily life so that she may see Your light shining through me. Please protect her heart, mind, and body. Guide her away from the lure of destructive influences in this world and draw her closer to You. Give me discernment to know when to be firm and when to extend grace. Strengthen my resolve, renew my hope, and help me to raise a young lady who will stand strong in her faith and shine Your light in this dark world.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Put It Into Practice
- Lead with hope, not fear. Remember that despite the cultural pressures surrounding your daughter, your guidance, encouragement, and example can make a meaningful difference in her life.
- Respond with calm, loving authority. When your daughter struggles or makes mistakes, avoid reacting in anger. Treat her with dignity and respect while maintaining appropriate boundaries.
- Be intentional about her influences. Help your daughter develop strong values, healthy friendships, and a firm sense of identity. Pray for wisdom as you guide her toward environments and relationships that will strengthen her faith.
