Being a parent can be hazardous to your health.
The US Department of Health and Human Services recently conveyed that truth in "Parents Under Pressure." Surgeon General Vivek Murthy stated in his opinion piece, published last week in The New York Times: "Compared with just a few decades ago, mothers and fathers spend more time working and more time caring for their children, leaving them less time for rest, leisure and relationships. Stress, loneliness and exhaustion can easily affect people's mental health and well-being. And we know that the mental health of parents has a direct impact on the mental health of children." We should be encouraged as Christians to see public conversations on parenting.
My anecdotal observation supports this central claim: many fathers and mothers struggle today. A trip to the grocery store frequently includes a screamfest—by the parent. A meal in a restaurant is cut short because a child is staging World War III over chicken nuggets.
Raising children is challenging in the best of circumstances. After all, parenting does not merely require self-sacrifice; parenting is self-sacrifice. We cannot miss that fact, nor this one: parents are unusually stressed. Many factors of today’s world add to the complexity and challenge of childrearing.
• Divorce has hit families hard, leaving one parent to manage the care of the children. Single parenting is not God’s design for the family and cannot help but be difficult.
• Parents’ loss of connection to local churches has left them isolated and without spiritual guidance. Many have no one to turn to for help and encouragement. Our God-rejecting culture has heightened the spread of sin, which is no small problem. Sin is a monster, and parents are ill-equipped to fight it and protect their children.
• The adoption of devices has amplified the challenges of child-raising. Exhausted fathers and mothers turn to technology to teach and occupy their children, exacerbating the lack of meaningful interaction between parent and child (as Jonathan Haidt shows in his vital book The Anxious Generation).
The anguished cries of modern parents—and children—should stir our hearts into action. We believers are not perfect parents by any stretch, but knowing the ups and downs of family life and the help of God’s Word, we should reach out with rich compassion to struggling dads and moms around us. Inviting fellow sinners into the life of our churches is a big part of outreach to parents in trouble.
We must listen for and respond to their pleas for help and those silently screaming. We need to see them, hear them, and respond with the love of Christ through practical and spiritual help. He has called us to give and serve.
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. — 1 Peter 4:10-11 (ESV)
In the Word of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ, and through our abilities to serve, we have everything that struggling parents and their children need. Life in a sinful world is indeed hazardous to a parent’s health, and thereby their children’s, but Jesus gives rest, joy, healing, and hope.
