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Mary Crowley's Journey of Faith - Part 2

Guest: Mary Crowley

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January 24, 2024

5 Lies Singles Believe—and What to do Differently

It's not always easy being a single person. Especially when well-meaning friends, relatives, or church people try to "encourage" you, but end up misleading you.

Or worse, lying to you. And often, they don't even know that they're doing so.

They think they're being helpful. Instead, you find yourself cringing at their comments or wilting emotionally like a hydrangea on a hot summer day.

Perhaps, sadly, some of these misconceptions are things you've told yourself about dating, marriage, and the single life.

It's time to shed some light on five lies that singles often believe—and the truth to set you free.

1. When you are "satisfied as a single," then you will find love.

TRUTH: Being satisfied with being single, then finding love, may work for some people but not for everyone. It's not a magical formula. God works in different ways with each of us.

I've been content, yet hopeful, for years and I'm still unmarried. Our creative and loving God knows what is best. And He's the one who can bring two people together—in His way and His timing—if we let Him.

Ask God for His will for your love life. Then trust Him. That will lead you to peace.

2. When I'm married, then I will be happy.

TRUTH: Marriage is a blessing and it can be a great source of joy. But don't confuse your marital status with the state of your emotional well-being. Single or married, another person cannot "complete you" or control your happiness. Your emotions are your choices.

You can have joy now, as you seek to develop closer relationships with friends, family, and others.

Plus, your primary source of joy comes from your First Love—the One who created you and knows you better than you know yourself, God. Ask Him to fill you with greater joy, peace, purpose and healing. Then you will have a wellspring inside of you from which to give out to others. Your "love bucket" will be full, so to speak.

A joyful life can begin today!

3. I'm too old, it's too late—marriage will never happen for me.

TRUTH: Never say never. You're not too old, and it's not too late—if marriage is in God's plan for you. He can do anything! A friend of mine married for the first time recently at age 60. She found a wonderful, godly man online. Others have married, or married again, at all different ages. Don't limit God. Trust Him. Trust His ways and timing. The truth is, some people will not get married. But whether it happens or not, God has good purposes for you to fulfill. Believe for His best for you.

4. Single means you're "second class."

TRUTH: While others may try to make you feel that way, the truth is, "Singleness is not second best." Your marital status does not define you. Your worth and identity come from what Christ says about you, not other people, no matter how well-intentioned they may be.

Who does God say you are? You are loved, accepted, chosen, forgiven, free, an overcomer, and so much more. Unmarried or married, we can serve and bless others as we follow God's leading in our lives.

5. I don't "deserve" to have a good boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.

TRUTH: Sometimes our family history, past relationships, or traumatic events cause us to feel like we don't deserve to be loved. We have a skewed perspective.

However, God created each of us to love and be loved. You are worthy of real and healthy love that lasts. You are worth being loved well. Don't settle for the scraps of unhealthy relationships, like someone's lack of attention, poor communication, disrespect, abuse, or other things that have previously hurt you.

Shore up your self-worth by diving into God's Word and the truth about who He says you are and what love really is.

God has not forgotten about you. He knows your heart's desires and longings. Ask God to help you see yourself as loved and worthy of love. Because you are.