Daughters (and sons) need firm leadership from the moment of birth onward, especially from Mom. Infants are like sponges soaking up the affection showered on them. They clearly prefer human stimuli above anything else. They are more sensitive to speech and singing than any other sound. A newborn has been listening to her mother’s voice from inside the womb for many months, and she is comforted by it. Brain development is greatly influenced and aided by the care and attention given in a nursery by mothers, grandmothers, or mother substitutes.

As the months pass, this attachment provides a secure base that encourages the exploration of the surrounding environment. It also defines a child’s style of relating to others, teaches her to trust, helps her interpret her feelings, and acquaints her with intimacy. To put it succinctly, Mom, you are indispensable. The encouragement and confidence Mom provides is a primary factor in nudging her toddler out to the edges of her universe. At about five years of age, a child will gradually become more independent and confident, especially if the bond with the mother or mother figure has been firmly established.

Loving authority, when properly applied, does not weaken a bond between generations. It strengthens it because mutual respect is the cornerstone of a relationship. Mothers who are overly cautious around their youngsters deprive them of the guidance, discipline, and boundaries that are necessary for healthy development. Parents who are tentative and lacking in confidence often end up being despised by their children. If attachment is the goal of parenting, and it certainly is, that objective is achieved by expressing genuine love, affection, and dedication, combined with reasonable discipline, defined limits, and firm leadership. They work in tandem.

From Dr. James Dobson’s book, Bringing Up Girls.