I venture to suggest that the one vital quality which the great saints had in common was spiritual receptivity. They differed from the average person in that when they felt the inward longing they did something about it. They acquired the lifelong habit of spiritual response. 

Behind the razor wire of a Florida State Penitentiary, a mother waits to visit her only son. Instead of allowing her own sorrow to completely engulf her, she looks around and notices the needs of the inmates’ family members waiting with her.

Carol Kent, a professional speaker and author, is also the co-founder of a ministry she never guessed she would have imagined into existence, Speak Up for Hope is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting inmates and their families.

The journey began with a midnight phone call informing Carol and her husband, Gene, that their son, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy with an impeccable record and a strong Christian faith, had been arrested for the murder of his wife’s first husband. Jason, the Kent’s only child, feared for the safety of his two stepdaughters because their allegedly abusive biological father was seeking unsupervised visitation with the girls. Jason was charged with first degree murder.

The Kents waited for two and a half years and through seven postponements of their son’s trial before he was convicted and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

It’s not the ending a mother wants. And it’s certainly not the story a Christian professional speaker and author wants to tell. But Carol trusts that God can bring good things from even the most terrible situations.

“I used to be what others would call ‘professional.’ My masters degree is in communication arts and I had worked as a public speaker and author for over 15 years when my son was arrested. I was suddenly flat on my face, wondering if I would ever be able to speak publicly again. I wanted to curl up in the embryo position and die. My refining process has been to learn that when I am the weakest, He is strong. When we don’t have answers, He is enough. When I can’t pick myself up, He is ‘the lifter of my head.’ When tears come (and they often do), I don’t have to pretend I don’t hurt. I’ve discovered that God works better through my honesty, heartache, and brokenness than He ever worked through my professionalism.”

Though her sorrow and circumstances are unwanted, Carol has allowed them to become a platform for ministry. “Not the ministry I wanted,” she confesses, “but a richer, deeper ministry.”

She has also cultivated the ability to recognize how small blessings in life reflect God’s love for us on a daily basis, a skill that reminds us of His presence even when He seems to be absent.

“There are times when I’m driving home from the prison after visiting my son, and He reminds me of the joy I experienced as I ministered to the wife of an inmate at the prison that day…

I have observed my son using his leadership, education, and his faith to encourage other inmates and to make a difference in the middle of a very dark and hopeless place. As I open letters from those inmates, telling me what an encouragement and blessing Jason has been to them, I feel the warmth of God’s smile—and that makes my pain tolerable. I sense that God is using my pain to give me a tender heart and to make me more useable. I don’t like the process, but I embrace the result.” ¹

What positive results of tough times can you see in your life? I am learning that if I don’t come to a new level of self-awareness or understanding in the midst of pain, I miss the opportunity for personal growth. And even though the growth may be unwanted and uninvited, it’s a sure means of developing full potential for a deeper and richer ministry.

In the stage play “Steel Magnolias” one of the main characters, after suffering the death of her daughter says, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” What she fails to add is, “only if we let it.”

But it’s not easy. The Refiner’s fire is necessary to remove the impurities and produce a renewed strength and elegance in us (Psalm 66:10). But fire equals pain. And pain hurts. Sometimes it hurts so badly we miss what’s waiting for us on the other side of the sorrow, heartache, and unhappiness. It’s easier to walk gingerly through life so that we don’t have to feel anything too deeply or do much introspection.

But you can do it. You can get to the next level and live God’s dream for you by discovering where you feel resistant in your life and then identifying what you can learn from it. Author Keri Wyatt Kent agrees:

I believe our resistance, if we are willing to just look at it and hold it for a moment, will show us where we need healing in our lives. In my life, resistance shows me my fear, which is not always fun to think about…. Often in life, when we feel pressure or resistance, we want to move away. Lean into the resistance; it will make you stronger. Don't run from your pain, and God will meet you in it and heal you.²

The idea of “meeting God” can generate fear or internal peace. Those courageous enough to meet Him in the midst of their circumstances, whatever they may be, have the guarantee of His provision. Like Jesus did on the Mount of Olives before he was arrested, we can come before God and say, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). By surrendering, we show a willingness to grow through unwanted circumstances.

Carol Kent is extraordinary in that she’s willing to embrace the result of tough times. Hers is an amazingly bold, mature, and courageous response—one that certainly challenges me to find the “embraceable” in my own difficult circumstances. Most of us often feel too overwhelmed during difficult times to begin the search for what we can yield.

Yet the moment we yield is the instant healing begins.

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1. Carol Kent, personal communication, February 16, 2007.

2. Keri Wyatt Kent, personal communication.