“He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.” – 1 Timothy 3:4 (NIV) A father holds awesome power in the lives of his children, for good or ill. Families have understood that fact for centuries. It has been said, “No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a boy.” Another wise observer said, “Tie a boy to the right man and he almost never goes wrong.” They are both right. When asked who their heroes are, the majority of boys who are fortunate enough to have a father will say, “It’s my dad.” On the other hand, when a father is uninvolved—when he doesn’t love or care for his kids—it creates an ache, a longing, that will linger for decades. Again, without minimizing how much girls need their fathers, which we also acknowledge, boys are constructed emotionally to be dependent on dads in ways that were not understood until recently. We now know that there are two critical periods during childhood when boys are particularly vulnerable. The most obvious occurs at the onset of puberty, when members of both ...

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV) We have seen that boys are in serious trouble today and that many of them are experiencing emotional pressure that contributes to violence, drug abuse, early sexual activity, and other forms of rebellious behavior. Even some teens who play by the rules and seem to be doing fine are struggling quietly with problems of identity and meaning. On behalf of them, and for the little boys who have not yet encountered these difficulties, we need to examine the specific forces that have created such an unhealthy environment for kids and, more importantly, what to do about them. Chief among the threats to this generation of boys is the breakdown of the family. Every other difficulty we will consider has been caused by or is related to that fundamental tragedy. It can hardly be overstated. We have been emphasizing for years that stable, lifelong marriages provide the foundation for social order. Everything of value rests ...

“My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.” – Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV) Boys, even more than girls, are in serious trouble today. A chorus of social scientists is warning now of a crisis among males like nothing we have seen before. While many kids are coping adequately, a sizable minority is struggling with perplexing social pressures and forces that yesterday’s kids didn’t have to face. For some, just trying to survive emotionally can best be described as overwhelming. Many males are foundering today—and the vast majority of them are being negatively influenced by the culture. Boys, when compared to girls, are times more likely to have learning disabilities, more likely to be registered drug addicts, and more likely to be diagnosed as emotionally disturbed. They are at greater risk for schizophrenia, autism, sexual addiction, alcoholism, bed wetting, and all forms of antisocial and criminal behavior. They are more likely to murder someone, and their rate of death in car accidents is ...

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (NIV) Most experts believe boys’ tendency to take risks, to be more assertive, to fight and compete, to argue, to boast, and to excel at certain skills, such as problem-solving, math, and science, is directly linked to the way the brain is hardwired and to the presence of testosterone. This may explain why boys have “ants in their pants” when they are in the classroom. The problem is that boys are often taught at such a tempo that it becomes difficult for them to adjust. Testosterone also accounts for boys’ early desire to be the strongest, bravest, toughest, rootin’-shootin kid on the range. It’s just the way God made them. Is masculinity good or bad? Right or wrong? Are boys biologically defective? Initially, it would appear that girls have all the right stuff. On average, they make fewer mistakes, take fewer risks, are better students, are more thoughtful of others, and are less impulsive than boys. Was testosterone one of God’s great mistakes? Would it be better if boys were more like girls and if ...