Dear Friend,
Perhaps you are like me. Somehow you came across Dr. James Dobson’s advice as a young adult who felt broken and was grasping for wholeness—and don’t we all have some type of brokenness? (Romans 3:23). Maybe you were raised on his counsel as your parents sought practical, biblical guidance to wrestle against a cultural tsunami that has left our children awash in confusion and great turmoil. Or, you might be a parent or grandparent who’s dealing with the terrible twos or tumultuous teen years.
No matter how you came to discover Dr. Dobson’s helpful biblical advice, we’re glad you did.
I’m Dr. Bart Brock, and I serve as Vice-Chairman of the James Dobson Family Institute’s (JDFI’s) board and currently as JDFI’s president. I previously spent the major part of my career working as the chief financial officer of well-known consumer products companies. How could that possibly prepare me for this ministry?
While it’s clear these businesses have different goals than ministries, the greatest of both know the best path forward is by making families’ lives better.
As we’ve shared over the past few months, we’re celebrating the 15th anniversary of JDFI this year, and I’ve been pondering some of the treasures from Dr. Dobson’s nearly five decades of ministry to make families’ lives better. Our goal is to offer these valuable Bible-based treasures to you.
So, this month, I’d like to share some practical tips and timeless wisdom found in the popular Dr. Dobson Minute, our daily broadcast/podcast, along with a recent blog post from Dr. Dobson. We hope you will be encouraged.
Helpful Advice for Families
There is simply no substitute for parents being present for their families—even when their kids are unaware of it. A recent Dr. Dobson Minute revealed the incredible story of Bill Havens, who was favored to win the gold medal in canoeing in the 1924 Olympics. But Bill had to make a crucial decision because his wife was expecting their first child, and the baby was likely to be born while he was out of the country. Bill chose to stay home and not participate in the games. Interestingly, their son was born a few days after the Summer Olympics ended. While it might seem like a lost dream for naught, 24 years later their son, Frank Havens, brought home the gold medal in canoeing—and thanked his dad by telegram (those were the days of slow news) for giving up his opportunity to achieve victory in order to be there for his birth. What better moment can there be than winning an Olympic gold medal? Being there for your child who wins it!
Another Dr. Dobson Minute, Breaking Away From the Cycle, reveals the futility often present in the daily grind of life through an analogy of “processionary caterpillars.” Dr. Dobson discusses a scientific study that showed how these little creatures fall in line, following a circle that goes nowhere. Rather than leaving their encircled captivity by climbing away from the flowerpot, these caterpillars marched in formation for days in an endless circle until they died. Too often, we are also driven in a march to “keep up with the Joneses” and chase an elusive success that’s never achieved. Like the caterpillars that could so easily escape, this teaching encourages us to break out of life’s cycle of societal pressures to enjoy time with our families and friends.
When we do make time to be with our loved ones, sometimes issues may emerge that were previously hidden. Let’s be honest. Dealing with critical family issues can be extremely painful, and we often feel ashamed and alone. It’s easier to brush off this priority as insignificant and stash it into the “later” category. But don’t let Satan’s lies take root! In this Dr. Dobson Minute, A Letter to Parents of Children With Eating Disorders, a mother of an anorexic pre-teen reveals the importance of sharing our personal pain and struggles with others who have experienced them. Dr. Dobson recommends that we “seek out a relevant support group because someone is out there waiting to help.”
One area that’s in dire need of help is the absence of godly male leadership. Fatherless families are endemic in our society. In fact, approximately 50% of children are raised in homes without their biological dads. This is an emotional wound I’ve experienced personally, having been raised in such a home when it was more rare than it is today. In his typical forthright style, Dr. Dobson goes straight to the heart of this issue in his interview with John Smithbaker of Fathers in the Field ministry.
I just want to say that almost every social ill faced by American children is related to the lack of dads, fatherlessness, and particularly [the scarcity of dads] who are committed to their families. Poverty, educational achievement, problems, crime, drug use, and all of those connected things are related to the plight of fatherlessness. As I wrote some time ago in my book, Bringing Up Boys, “The future of Western civilization depends on how we handle the crisis of fatherlessness.” And I believe that’s more true now than it was then. The numbers are disheartening, and this is not the time to just wave a white flag. We have to do something about it.
This broadcast is scheduled to re-air this month on Family Talk, and I, for one, don’t want to miss it!
Even when following biblical guidelines, raising a family is tough, and shepherding our children and grandchildren seems harder than ever. But it’s not a new challenge. A recent blog from Dr. Dobson relates these concerns from his book Dare to Discipline, first released in 1970. In it, he shares how he came to understand “…that it is possible for mothers and fathers to love and revere God while systematically losing their children.” The following excerpt from the blog, A Man and His Ultimate Priority, about the importance of leadership in the home explains why we must do our “homework” if we want our home to work.
If you doubt the validity of this assertion, may I suggest that you read the story of Eli in 1 Samuel 2-4. Here is the account of a priest and servant of God who failed to discipline his children. He was apparently too busy with the “work of the church” to be a leader in his own home. His two boys grew up to be evil young men on whom God’s judgment fell.
It concerned me to realize that Eli’s service to the Lord was insufficient to compensate for his failure at home. Then I read farther in the narrative and received confirmation of the principle. Samuel, the saintly man of God who stood like a tower of spiritual strength throughout his life, grew up in Eli’s home. He watched Eli systematically losing his children, yet Samuel proceeded to fail with his family, too! That was a deeply disturbing truth. If God would not honor Samuel’s dedication by guaranteeing the salvation of his children, will He do more for me if I’m too busy to do my “homework”?
Back to School
Perhaps the greatest challenge for parents in trying to keep their children on the right track is in the area of education. For one thing, kids’ and parents’ relief over the school year ending can often turn into anxiety as the calendar turns to August and the back-to-school process begins. This scenario may be particularly painful when children are entering adolescence and heading into middle school. Parents fear their kids will never achieve academic success and worry about their futures. This Dr. Dobson Minute, Middle School Slump, discusses how frequently that scene plays out and provides assurance that “better days are probably coming” for academic achievement.
Dreaded report cards (or report portals) aren’t too far away from coming after the first school bell rings. It’s common nowadays for parents to attempt monetary motivation for better grades, and that can be an effective pathway for many children. But what lesson are they really learning? Dr. Dobson suggests an alternative that can lead not only to higher grades but also better futures. Neither rewards nor prizes really matter in the long run. Instead, when parents offer encouragement, praise, and meaningful assistance, grades tend to improve. Listen to this Dr. Dobson Minute, Motivation for Better Grades, to learn how simple it can be.
Many parents have more to worry about with their children than good grades. They are concerned about their kids’ ideals and their very souls as they encounter a culture out of sync with God’s principles. In a recent Family Talk broadcast, Dr. Dobson and Gary Bauer discussed some encouraging trends and the continuing need to engage in the public education system.
I’ve been encouraged, Jim, in recent weeks to see these parents, these “mama bears,” I guess, if you want to call them that, particularly mothers showing up at these school board meetings, objecting to what’s being taught to their children. I see more men and women of faith willing to go to demonstrations and speak out. I see churches that are beginning to speak more aggressively against the popular culture.
Jim, I’m encouraged by the growing number of people who are sending their children to Christian schools. I’m encouraged by the growth in homeschooling. But the fact of the matter is that for the foreseeable future, the great majority of our children will be taught in the public schools. And we can’t let those public schools be in the hands of left-wing cultural radicals that are undermining everything that we believe in. And I want to emphasize again, Jim, not only undermining Judeo-Christian values, but undermining the United States.
Thank You for Your Support
In conclusion, you may have noticed recent changes to our website and donation pages, which we’ve upgraded for easier navigation. We would love to hear from you about the new website or anything else from JDFI that is impacting your family. It’s easy to contact us online or by calling Constituent Care at 877-732-6825.
We love engaging with you and hope you will share JDFI’s content with many to help extend our reach and digital impact to bless others. The JDFI website is packed with helpful and inspiring broadcasts, articles, and posts for every member of the family, including couples, parents, singles, and grandparents.
Thank you for faithfully supporting our ministry during our first 15 years! Your continuing support is greatly appreciated. The mission of JDFI is not possible without it.
Praying God’s greatest blessings on you and yours,
Bart Brock, Ph.D.
Vice-Chairman and Interim President
Dr. James Dobson Family Institute
