May I make an appeal to husbands and fathers? I will speak bluntly, though I don’t intend to offend or alienate my masculine readers. If you want your wife to accept the responsibility of motherhood and all that it implies, then you must provide her with your support and involvement.
You must let her talk to you when she has had a difficult day with the children, offering suggestions and alternative approaches; you must help her discipline and train and guide; you must meet her emotional and romantic needs which accumulate in your absence; you must understand her requirement to get away from her small children at least once a week; and most important, you must reserve some of your time for your family. It is easy for a man to invest six or seven days a week in his job, because he often loves what he does. His ego-needs are met through his occupation, which encourages him to work fourteen hours a day. When this occurs, however, it sets off a chain reaction of consequences which is enormously disruptive to those who depend on him.
A recent book for families is based on the thesis that a mother sets the dominant tone for her entire household. The ultimate happiness of every member of the family, the author says, is dependent on how well she does her job and the warmth she exudes. While I don’t minimize the vital role played by a mother, I believe a successful family begins not with her but with her husband. If a woman is to have the contentment and self-satisfaction necessary to produce a successful family, she needs the constant support and respect of the man she loves.
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