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Fathers and the Empty Nest



When we hear the phrase “empty nest” we often think of mothers who are going through pain and depression as their children move away. But research shows that fathers feel the pain as well—in many cases even more intensely than their wives.

The movie Father of the Bride is hilarious. But it’s also a touching tribute to the love of a father for his daughter. When George, the dad, sits across from his daughter at the dinner table and learns that she’s engaged, he takes the news hard. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. He has to clear his vision as he sees her as a little baby girl, and then as the tomboy of eight or ten years, and finally as a beautiful young woman of eighteen. His little girl has grown up, and she’s leaving him. He will never again be main man in the life of this baby or this little girl or this beautiful young adult. A part of his life is over, and there’s grieving to be done.

George’s experience is not so unusual. A recent study asked four hundred parents of college freshmen to report their feelings when their son or daughter left home.

Surprisingly to some, the fathers took it harder than the mothers. And one of the chief explanations was regret. Fathers had been so busy—working so hard—that they suddenly realized it was too late to build a relationship with the then-grown child.

If you still have teenagers at home, take a moment regularly to enjoy your remaining time together. Those days will be gone in the blink of an eye.

From Dr. Dobson’s book Handbook of Family Advice.


Related Resources

Dad’s Vital Role in Building Character Into His Sons

My Greatest Challenge as a Dad

Every Dad Has Some Regrets

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson was the Founder Chairman of the James Dobson Family Institute, a nonprofit organization that produced his radio program, Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California and held 18 honorary doctoral degrees. He also was the author of more than 70 books dedicated to the preservation of the family.

Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years, and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years in the divisions of child development and medical genetics.

He advised five U.S. presidents and served on eight national commissions.

Dr. Dobson was married to Shirley for just shy of 65 years, and he was the beloved father of two grown children, Danae and Ryan, and two grandchildren.

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