Dr. Dobson answers a teenager’s question, “Why can’t I stand up for myself and be my own person?”
The answer involves feelings of inferiority, which are usually verystrong during adolescence. You see, when you (teenager) feel worthless andfoolish—when you don’t like yourself—then you are more frightened by thethreat of ridicule or rejection by your friends. You become more sensitiveabout being laughed at. You lack the confidence to be different. Youproblems seem bad enough without making them worse by defying the wishes ofthe majority. So you dress the way they tell you to dress, and you talk theway they tell you to talk, and all your ideas are the group’s ideas. Youbecome afraid to raise your hand in class or express your own ideas. Yourgreat desire is to behave in the “safest” way possible. These behaviors allhave one thing in common: they result from a lack of self-confidence.
Gradually, your self-respect will return as you come more mature andcomfortable with the person God made you to be.
And for parents with pre-teens:
It is important for your pre-teenager to know about group pressure before it reaches its peak. Someday he may be sitting in a car with four friends who decide to take some little red pills, and he needs to know in advance how he will handle that moment. Role play that moment with him, teaching him what to say and do. Your preparation is no guarantee that he will have the courage to stand alone at that crucial time, but his knowledge of peer influence could provide the independence to do what is right. I would, therefore, recommend that this matter of conformity be thoroughly discussed and rehearsed with your ten or eleven-year-old.
