“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” – Isaiah 43:2 (NIV) Whether you have cuddly little preschool girls who are toddling around your house or budding young adults about to leave the nest, it is very important to understand how the culture is influencing their developing hearts and minds. We should never underestimate its force, which is like a powerful river that carries everything downstream with it. Protecting them from its ravages is far easier when they are young, of course—it becomes increasingly difficult with the passage of time. That is why a primary goal of parenting should be to introduce your children to moral and spiritual values during the early years. These underpinnings will help keep them afloat when the floodwaters come in spring. Let’s talk about that challenge. In years gone by, the River of Culture was a gentle stream that carried children along toward adulthood. Most of my friends and I made the journey with hardly a ripple. Today, parents are aware ...

“Our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.” – Psalm 144:12 (NIV) Daughters tend to be third in line for the attention of the man of the family . I have drawn that conclusion after many years of working with families. Fathers know intuitively that their boys require special attention, discipline, and leadership, but they are often unaware of how desperately their daughters also need them. Men usually understand that their sons are dependent on them throughout childhood, but I am convinced that girls need their fathers as much as boys do. A girl’s sense of self-worth and personal dignity are directly linked to what she believes her father thinks of her. There is a place in the female soul reserved for a Daddy, or a daddy figure, that will always yearn for affirmation. Not every girl or woman is the same, of course, but almost every girl desires a close bond with this most significant man in her life. She will adore him if he loves and protects her and if she finds safety and warmth in his arms. She will tend to see all men through the lens of that relationship. The ...

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.” – Proverbs 29:15 (NIV) Daughters (and sons) need firm leadership from the moment of birth onward, especially from Mom. Infants are like sponges soaking up the affection showered on them. They clearly prefer human stimuli above anything else. They are more sensitive to speech and singing than any other sound. A newborn has been listening to her mother’s voice from inside the womb for many months, and she is comforted by it. Brain development is greatly influenced and aided by the care and attention given in a nursery by mothers, grandmothers, or mother substitutes. As the months pass, this attachment provides a secure base that encourages the exploration of the surrounding environment. It also defines a child’s style of relating to others, teaches her to trust, helps her interpret her feelings, and acquaints her with intimacy. To put it succinctly, Mom, you are indispensable. The encouragement and confidence Mom provides is a primary factor in nudging her toddler out to the edges of her universe. At about five years of age, a child will gradually become more independent and confident, especially if the bond with ...

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” – Proverbs 31:26 (NIV) It is impossible to overstate the importance of talking in the lives of girls and women. Though estimates vary, it appears that males use about seven thousand words per day; and females, twenty thousand.* Women not only talk more, but their enjoyment in conversation is far more intense. Connecting through talking activates the pleasure centers of a girl’s brain, providing a huge emotional reward for her. It is why teen girls are obsessed with text messaging and computer chat rooms. It also explains why one of the most common sources of disappointment women express about married life is that the guys won’t talk to them. Show me a husband who keeps his thoughts to himself, and I will show you a frustrated wife. Little and not-so-little girls need to talk, too, especially about what they are feeling. Let me speak directly to the busy mom and dad who are too exhausted at the end of the day to get your kids talking, either at the dinner table or in those intimate few minutes before bedtime: you may be making a serious mistake. You need to ...

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (NIV) It begins at conception, when males and females start their developmental journeys down two very different paths. That juncture will affect the way they think, feel, and act for the rest of their lives. The brains of both sexes appear to be “female” until about the eighth week when a male brain is washed by a huge surge of testosterone. It is then transformed radically and even takes on a different color. This male sex hormone kills some of the communication cells, including a portion of the bundle of nerves called the corpus callosum. It is a rope of fibers that connects the right hemisphere, where emotion is processed, with the left, where language is focused. Although the corpus callosum survives the testosterone bath, the male brain will never be able to “cross talk” as effectively thereafter, which has major implications for future masculine behavior. Testosterone also causes an increase in the volume of neurons and circuits located in the boy’s sex and aggression centers. Because the female brain is not subjected to a ...