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It’s important to understand how kids think. Their conflict often becomes a way of manipulating parents. Quarreling and fighting provide an opportunity for both children to capture adult attention. It has been written, “Some children had rather be wanted for murder than not wanted at all.” Toward this end, a pair of obnoxious kids can tacitly agree to bug their parents until they get a response—even if it is an angry reaction.
When your daughter goes to school tomorrow, tell her to watch the students who are coming and going. Some will be smiling and laughing and talking and carrying their books and playing baseball. Unless
When I was a kid, Easter was all about the candy—and how much my siblings and I could consume before our parents pulled the plug on our holiday sugar fix. Of course, we dyed eggs in various pastel colors. And I looked forward to wearing a pretty new dress on Easter Sunday.
The goal in dealing with a difficult child is to shape the will without breaking the spirit. Hitting both targets is sometimes easier said than done. Perhaps it will help to share a letter from a mother who was having a terrible time with her son Jake. Her description of this child and her responses to him illustrate precisely how not to deal with a difficult boy or girl.
Rebecca Ann Sedwick was only 12 years old. But she hurled herself off the top of an abandoned building in Florida in order to free herself from the daily torment of her peers. The bullies’ weapons? Words. But their cruelty toward Rebecca didn’t happen on the playground, in the lunchroom, or next to the school lockers. It happened on social media.
When Coach John Wooden retired from basketball in 1975, he had every reason to savor the spotlight. He had led UCLA to an unprecedented 10 NCAA national championships in 12 years, including seven in a row. His teams had won 88 consecutive games at one point—a record that still stands as one of the most remarkable streaks in sports history. He coached legends and built a dynasty. He became, by nearly every measure, the greatest college basketball coach of all time. Yet when Dr. James Dobson asked what he missed most after stepping away from the game, what Coach Wooden said in response is important for every Christian parent to remember. He didn’t say he missed the roar of the crowd. Nor did he mention the trophies, banners, or championships. He said he missed the practices. He longed for the teaching. That statement reveals everything about why John Wooden was a champion—and why his example matters so much for moms and dads today. The Championships Were a Byproduct Wooden didn’t begin his season by talking about taking home titles. In fact, he rarely mentioned winning at all. Instead, he focused on preparation, fundamentals, and character. The first practice of every season was famously simple. Coach Wooden taught his players how to put on their socks properly—carefully smoothing out wrinkles to avoid blisters. Then he showed them ...
We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It's true. You've seen it yourself. When a woman knows that she is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered. "Am I lovely?" "Am I worth fighting for?" "Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?" When these questions are answered, Yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman's heart.
Even with a clear game plan in mind, raising kids properly is one of life's richest challenges. It is not uncommon for a mother, particularly, to feel overwhelmed by the complexity of her parental assignment. In many homes, she is the primary protector for each child's health, education, intellect, personality, character, and emotional stability.
Laughter is the key to survival during the special stresses of the child-rearing years. If you can see the delightful side of your assignment, you can also deal with the difficult.
Question: Dr. Dobson, is there a way I, as a father, can influence my daughter's attitude toward boys? If she chooses to marry, she will need to understand men and know how to relate to them.
